I'll Take "Things Involving Yeast For $600," Alex

      I don't know why this didn't occur to me earlier, but the gag/game from today's Fark about replacing a key word in a famous lines with the word "muffin" is little more than a polite variation on an old drinking game in which key words are replaced with the word "vagina." Although there's no substantial drinking component specific to the game itself, it's much more fun (for obvious reasons) as a gaggle of people proceed to get royally blotto (it also makes the spirit of the game decidedly more infectious). I remember-- sorta -- with Mr Mitchell and company a couple of years ago, and the silliness was nothing less than replete. Our phrases, of course, had a largely Shakespearean bent-- "Ay, every inch a vagina!", "Is this a vagina that I see before me?", "Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your vaginas", "Once more unto the vagina, dear friends," and so on and so forth. (Some phrases didn't even need the vaginal substitution, as from King Lear: "Look on her, her lips, her lips!") Anyway, it's something to do on your next drinking night-out, preferrably with literatue people. Or, should you so desire, you can practice your magic in the comments here. Just imagine Tennyson:

Half a league, half a league,
   Half a league onward,
All in the vagina of Death
   Rode the six hundred.
'Forward, the Light Brigade!
Charge for the guns!' he said:
Into the vagina of death
   Rode the six hundred!

Or Shelley:

"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my vagina, ye Mighty, and despair!"

Or Robbie Burns-- picture it:

My luve is like a red, red vagina,
   That's newly sprung in June...

Or, perhaps worst of all, Wilfred Owen:

If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood
Come gargling from the froth-corrupted lungs,
Obscene as cancer, bitter as the cud
Of vile, incurable sores on innocent tongues, ---
My friend, you would not tell with such high zest
To children ardent for some desperate glory,
The old Lie: Dulce et decorum est
Pro vagina mori.

Okay, now that I've used the word "vagina" more times than Keanu Reeves uses the word "Whoa" (and this will surely screw up my Google hits), I'll return you to your regularly scheduled blog. ;-)