Doctor J's New High-Wire Act

      May is near its end, and it seems the world, or at least the one I approximately inhabit, has become the setting of the end of a Shakespearean comedy. Love is in the air and people are all atingle-- and those that aren't atingle are just getting married instead. Ah, love, that four-letter word most try to believe is not really a four-letter word. As hard as it may be for some of you to believe, I'm not being as cynical or as negative about all this as I might normally be. It is, however, a difficult situation. I'm not sure whether I'm more inclined to be Jaques from As You Like It or Don Pedro from Much Ado About Nothing. The easy answer is to behave like Don Pedro even if I cannot help thinking like Jaques. When everyone, it seems, is a-May-ing, it's probably best not to seem, let alone be, even a bit skeptical for fear of inadvertently tainting the joy of others with one's doubts. So, for the next while, I'm declaring a personal moritorium on my own romantic cynicism. That's right-- no "love is a scutcheon," no "yeah, we've all heard that before," no snide jokes about herpes being different than love because herpes lasts forever. I'm temporarily at least letting my higher self-- my more hopeful, encouraging self-- take control, and restraining my more captious or distrustful impulses. There's a time to be Don Pedro, smiling dimly in the offing with the hope things prove more sweet than bitter. So, best wishes to all those of you star-crossed, moonstruck lovers-- and even a few of you cross-eyed mooners. Here's to the possible. `Nuff said.

      In other matters, I'm frankly too damned indolent to do a real update on this blog, so here are some short takes on recent observations:

• Judi, Judi, Judi:   Dame Judi Dench is costarring in the new film with-- wait for it-- Vin Diesel. I don't know why I find this so hard to believe but I do. The rule in Hollywood is this, that if an action vehicle is in desparate need of credibility, hire a British actor or actress, otherwise known as "The Alec Guinness Rule" after Star Wars. This is not to be confused with "The Clash Of The Titans Rule," by which producers snag every British actor and actress they can find-- Clash nabbed Lord Laurence Olivier, Dame Maggie Smith, Dame Flora Robson, Claire Bloom-- in a bid for star-studded respectability, of which the latest examples are the Harry Potter films, drenched with Branaghs, Thompsons, Harrises, Rickmans, Gambons, Cleeses, and -- of course-- Maggie Smiths.
  
  
• Bayer, I Don't Even Know Her:   I really have to stop watching movies and TV, because I keep finding myself appreciating perhaps a bit too closely some of the, er, shall we say, virtues of certain actresses. Inexplicably watching bits and pieces of the Angel marathon, I couldn't help but notice the charm of Amy Acker, a charm probably amplified by the fact that she was stuck in a dog of a part. That, like Debra Messing, she resembles two aspirins on an ironing board is irrelevant: her facial features are very lovely, indeed. Yes, I know what you're thinking.... All I can say in my own defense is that I'm a sucker for beauty, and I'm given to appreciating it when I see it. Colour me (vaguely) human.
  
  
• And They're Off:   The election in Canada is now on. The entire country was heard to sigh, in rare unison, on Sunday afternoon, "Oh, here we go again." One good thing about Canada: at least our elections happen quickly. We have a month and change of this political bombardment. The American process of, basically, a year-long campaign is roughly akin to Chinese Water Torture. And at least there is no way the total cost of the election will approach the $1 billion -- yes, BILLION-- mark. Thank goodness for that.
  
  
• Clueless:   A report on the CBC yesterday polled a number of Canadians, and noted that a disturbingly low number of Canadians under the age of thirty-five could identify the Prime Minister of Canada. (If I could find the link to the poll I'd provide it here, but for the life of me I can't find it on the CBC website.) How bad are the numbers? Well over 30% of people in this age-range couldn't name the PM, if my memory serves. The national average on this question was in the 85% range. So, we have a generation of young people stunningly clueless (to say nothing of disaffected, and apparently encouraging of this disaffection). Said people are also the supposedly techno-savvy future. I understand the disaffection for politics, but not to know who the Prime Minister is?!?!? The movie Dumb and Dumberer comes to mind right now.

That's enough for now. If I'm going to be unremittingly positive in the next while, I'm going to have to take a few refresher-courses. Doctor J, positive?!?!? I'll do my best. Cheers.

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Update On The High-Wire Act (circa 10pm)

      Oh, it is hard.... Received this baiting in my email, and you can only imagine how much I am wrestling the temptation to parse through its silliness, idiocy and general crapolicity (a phrase of my own making, thank you very much: feel free to use it):

1.There are at least two people in this world that you would die for.
2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.
4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
6. You mean the world to someone.
7. You are special and unique.
8. Someone that you don't even know exists, loves you.
9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
10. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look around.
11. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.

So...If you are a loving friend, send this to everyone, including the one that sent it to you. If you get it back, then they really do love you.

NEVER HAVE REGRETS!!!! "FRIENDS ARE ANGELS WHO LIFT US TO OUR FEET WHEN OUR WINGS HAVE TROUBLE."

Oh, my poor, poor stomach.... This is gonna be tougher than I thought, like the agnostic nodding along to the Born-Again's declarations.... Restraint, control, optimism. I can do this. By the way, does anyone have any Maalox?

I was afraid of that.