And People Say I'm Silly....

      On Fark today, replacing one word in a key phrase with the word "muffin." The various entries can be found here, but this one's my favourite, by a long shot, from someone named "GeneFrenkle":

The way your dad looked at it, this muffin was your birthright. He'd be damned if any of the slopes were gonna get their greasy yellow hands on his boy's birthright. So he hid it in the one place he knew he could hide something: his ass. Five long years, he wore this muffin up his ass. Then when he died of dysentery, he gave me the muffin. I hid this uncomfortable piece of muffin up my ass for two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the muffin to you.

Hilarious, especially if you imagine Mr. Walken delivering the lines. Imagine Hamlet:

                  O, I die, Horatio,
The potent poison quite o'er-crows my spirit.
I cannot live to hear the news from England,
But I do prophesy th' election lights
On Fortinbras, he has my dying voice.
So tell him, with th' occurents more and less
Which have solicited-- the rest is muffin.

May flights of bran flakes sing thee to thy rest.