Even If All Fall Away On Account Of You

      I find this website hilarious. Why? Because Jean Lapierre was one of the founding members of the Bloc Québecois in the Muldooney Days, and now suddenly he has Liberal religion? I'd say the counterfeiter begs forgiveness, but neither Lapierre nor Martin would ever be so contrite. Lapierre has also become the Chief Martinet in La Belle Province. Zut alors. "See the real face of the Bloc," the site tells us, eliding over history. Is there at least a Liberal Team Martin programme (of course, spelled in American fashion)? Natch! What does this site offer, though? The chance to have Lapierre's wisdom sent directly to you live by video-mail!!!!! Yippee!!!! I'm all aflutter and atingle. Scooby-dooby-Dieu, my life has meaning again. How could I ever have wandered-- lonely as a cloud-- from the light that is The Paul.

      The Peter believes in The Paul. His stint as a Separatiste is now oubliée, like those peculiar sexual escapades that get blamed on college experimentation. (Remember Basic Instinct, anyone?) I sit with bated breath for the triple renunciation-- and the crowing of the cock.

(I'll let you infer a two-syllable suffix to addend to the last word there. Hint: it rhymes with plucker.)