Paul, You Geographer You....

      Ah, it seems PM PM (hot on the heels of his famous confusion of Normandy with Norway) has a problem with geography, a problem as pathetic and embarrassing as the Dubster's sense of the English language. Check this out, from a speech in Montréal yesterday:

Is the idea of a G-20 realistic? More and more, I believe that it’s feasible. My discussions on the G-20 with the European Commission have sparked some interest. The same was true of my discussions with the Presidents of Brazil, Mexico and South Africa. The two key countries are the two major powers of the North and South, the United States and China.

Oh, yes, Paul, China has gone South on us, despite being entirely above the Equator. From the same speech yesterday, note some of these blunderful ear-scratchers:

• "We want space to be considered as a universal good." (Seriously, parse that sentence through based on the explicit meanings of those words.... If you don't need a drink after that, your antennae must be on the fritz. Space and universal. Universal good. But "just considered," it doesn't actually have to be a universal good. Oy....)
  
• "On the question of the missile shield, Canada will be guided by its own interests when making its decision." (Is it a Freudian slip that he uses the words "missile" and "guided" in the same sentence? And what are Canada's interests in this regard, Paul? Can we be any more vague? And, by the way, doesn't this imply that your government is capable of making a decision?)
  
• "Few countries are as open to the world as we are." (Open. Pardon my dirty mind, but this is just *not* the way to say what I think he intends here. And in this age of border fortification and the like, is it wise to say Canada is "open"?)
  
• The quote would be too long for this spot, but did you notice that the only way for Martin to describe Bush's response to a Heads of State G-20 is to say, twice, that he "expressed genuine interest"? I find this, er, "interesting." You know, kinda like the same reaction you have to a modern art piece that seems to have no relevance whatsoever.
  
• "Canada has a vast reservoir of talents to create or strengthen the most diverse institutions in countries with the greatest need." (A "vast reservoir"? Vast? Ever looked at the Brain-Drain numbers, Paul? Oh yeah, only when you're campaigning-- but of course you're not "campaigning" yet-- at a university.)

I'd go on, but I'm sure this would bore you to tears. Let's just say that I agree entirely with Paul Wells and Doug Fisher on these matters of Paulicy. Wells' blog has spurred me in writing much of this, so I'll end with a quote from that most sage assessor of politicians, the PM's good chum-- excuse me while I clear my cyber-throat-- Bono, whom Mr. Wells quotes while no doubt restraining laughter:

Wow. A politician who doesn’t break his promises. This is real leadership. I hope Canadians will know what this means in the rest of the world.

Sorry, Bono: in the words of Mose Allison, "If you only knew..." After all, this blog believes that the space between Martin's lips is a universal vacuum. Thank goodness it has no idea where China is, though this blog is sure that space would express genuine interest in knowing.