08 September 2004

Prep For The H

      This blog would like to describe Vice President Cheney as a douchebag, but that might imply there's some water with that vinegar. Check out He Of The Foaming Mouth's latest assertion:

It's absolutely essential that eight weeks from today, on Nov. 2, we make the right choice, because if we make the wrong choice then the danger is that we'll get hit again and we'll be hit in a way that will be devastating from the standpoint of the United States.
Oh, Dick, you are a TWAT. No, scratch that. This blog likes twats. You're a walking, talking, seething haemmorrhoid.   I almost pity him in his stupidity and desperation. Almost.

      Yes, this blog seems to be venting more & more than it should about the American election, partially because there's so much about this one that gathers the Not-So-Good Doctor's ire-- or which causes him to shake his head in utter bewilderment. See, for example, the Dubster's jaw-dropping gaffe from Monday in which he said, "too many OB/GYN's aren't able to practice their love with women all across the country." Whoa-ho! (The Not-So-Good Doctor's not able to practice his love with women all across his own country, either.) Freud would have had a field day. But it never ceases to amaze this blog how blinkered the American electorate can be, and in this regard it's worth noting these thought-provoking poll results on the U.S. election from Non-Americans; the numbers are awfully telling.

      In a not-so-related vein, the New Yorker has a good-- but very long-- article about one-time candidate Al Gore. It's a good, critical portrait, and it leaves this blog to muse about the American turn after September 11th. If Gore had been President, it's unlikely he'd have been a particularly rousing or inspiring leader, his empathy factor a daunting weakness; but, one suspects, his policies and responses would have been more measured and more intelligent-- and certainly not as internationally belligerent. Bush provided empathy and the image of leadership, but his policies have either been risible or galling. I don't know about any of you, and perhaps this makes me an elitist snob, but I'd rather have an aloof leader who could discuss and analyze matters intelligently rather than a charismatic populist for whom forming a coherent sentence is as challenging as a trek up Kilimanjaro. But, sadly, we live in a C-minus world, governed by D-plus students.

      And speaking of D+ students, on a lighter note: check out the Renaissance According To Student Bloopers, from Anders Henriksson's Non Campus Mentis.


The Middles Ages slimpared to a halt.

  • The renasence bolted in from the blue.
  • Life reeked with joy.
  • Italy became robust, and more individuals felt the value of their human being.
  • It became sheik to be educated.

Thomas More put the capital "H" in Humanism.  Erasmus wrote The New Testament.  Chamber music was composed for groups of viles.  Women, however, were required to display their art ominously.

    Renaissance merchants were beautiful and almost lifelike.  They enriched themselves by planting wool and selling it for clothing.  They increased these profets by paying interest to people who borrowed money from them.  This produced even more grits for the mills of change.

    Machiavelli, who was often unemployed, wrote The Prince to get a job with Richard Nixon.

    Henry VIII divorced his original wife, who had become old and impregnable.  Elizabeth I was eventually the daughter of Henry the Ate.  Mother to Elizabeth was Ann Beau Lynne, wife of the moment to Henry VIII.

    As queen, Elizabeth was the foremost monarch of the Elizabethan era.  In 1588 she calmed her soldiers during a Spanish attack by assuring them she shared a stomach with her father.

    Charles V spent most of his reign aging.

    Explorers went to look for trade roots.  Ships were microscopically small and suffered bequalment if they could not make enough wind.

    This was the beginning of Empire when Europeans felt the need to reach out and attack someone.

    Man was determined to civilise himself and his brothers, even if heads had to roll!

    Ferdinand and Isabella conquered Granola, a part of Spain now known as Mexico and the Gulf States.

    Francis Drake was permitted by Queen Elizabeth to sail the seas and find illegal things to do with the Spanish.

    Columbus came to America to install rule by dead white males over the native peoples.

    Cortez was leader of a little group of torriadors who subdued the inhabitants of New Mexico with great ease.  Small box, which they brought with them, was killing the natives at a very quick rate.  This bothered the Spanish little, for as Catholics they did not believe in God.

  • Balboa was the first to lay down his eyes on the Rocky Mountains.
  • Dick Cavett was the first European to visit Newfoundland.
  • Capot discovered the Netherlands and codfish.
  • Captain Cook found many continents while deliberately on exhibition and located the perfect navel spot near Africa's bottom.


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