Hot Teen-On-Teen Action

      As if there weren't already enough reasons to kick the Dubster's ass right out of office, he's committed The Greatest Sin Imaginable:   he has appeared on Dr. Phil.   Check out Slate's discussion of the spectacle.   But, alas, John He'll-Kerry-A-State-If-He-Can and Tessie the Ketchup Lady will be up to the same silliness in a week.   *deep, heaving sigh of unimaginable regret*   Suddenly, Fred Clintstone's (type this very carefully, Doctor J) sax-blowing on the Arsenio Hall Show is seeming the very definition of decorum.   But then again, we know how he'd have responded to the Philistine's question about the "epidemic of oral sex."     

      (And, hark, behold: the Not-So-Good Doctor is behaving himself and resisting all temptation to joke about spreading things!   Now, tell me, how many of your hearts just stopped?)

      Word In The Ear Of Falter Johndale: Tonight, as soon as you possibly can, turn directly into the camera and say, "What this country needs is a serious discussion, and not just pious platitudes about why either of us should be elected. To allow for this discussion, Mr President, let us set aside these copiously-negotiated 'rules of debate' and simply talk about the matters plainly, clearly, and directly.   Let us talk.   Let us be more than candidates for the highest position in the land; let us be statesmen."   I guarantee you, the giant flushing sound you would hear right afterwards would be the sound of Karl Rove's bowels evacuating in panic.