Take That, Marat!

      Reading this article called to mind a terrible old joke that I remember hearing as a kid -- way, way back in times considerably less-PC (and hence much more fun). An Englishman, a Frenchman and a Newfie are captured by Indians sometime in the eighteenth-century. The prisoners are shackled at the feet and instructed that they will be allowed one last request before they are executed. The Chief goes up to the Englishman and asks, "What would you like for your final request?" The Englishman asks to be blindfolded so he can face his death with some dignity. The Chief grants the request, and the Englishman is scalped. The Indians, attentive to the need to make use of everything, then begin to separate the man's flesh from his body, as the Chief explains: "In death, he will still have purpose: his flesh will be used for a canoe." He then approaches the Frenchman and asks him what his final request is. He asks that he be allowed to pray to his God so he can repent his sins. The Chief agrees, and after the man prays, he too is scalped, and his skin removed for the making of another canoe. The Chief then approaches the Newfie and asks him about his final request. The Newfie calmly answers, "I'd like a fork, please." Puzzled, the Chief wonders about the nature of the request but agrees nonetheless and orders that a fork be brought to him. The fork in his hand, the Newfie suddenly starts stabbing himself repeatedly in the chest and screams, "You're not gonna make a canoe outta me!!!!!" Okay, okay, I *did* say it was terrible: what did you expect?