You're So Cool, Brewster...
      a.k.a. "Most Obnoxious Entry Ever"

      Okay, a little story here from the real life of Doctor J, and not only does this blog assure you that it is absolutely true, but also that no animals were harmed or otherwise molested in it.

      The Not-So-Good-Doctor pops over to a local haunt last night, mainly to get in a few pints and get some marking done. After a few papers, he takes what he intends to be a short break and joins a few acquaintances for a spell. Sitting with such acquaintances is a very lithe young lady, blonde and perhaps 21, but most assuredly not the reason the N-S-G Doctor decided to take said break. As conversation progresses, it becomes apparent even to my normally-blind eyes that young lady is not only flirting with me (she's flirtatious to begin with), but that she's taken quite a shine to the N-S-G Doctor. What sort of shine, you may logically ask. Well, of that I'm not entirely sure, but she keeps blurting out to her female companion things like "I just love the way he talks, I don't even understand what he's talking about, but he talks so ---[trails off]" and "He's so ---- [trails off again]." I kid ye not. I make none of this up. She was speaking with that sort of unbridled schoolgirlness (yes, I'm coining my own word there) that one so seldom sees anymore, or, more appropriately, I so seldom see anymore. Oh, it was nice, that look of embarrassed enamourment, that surprise that she was saying such stuff within the earshot of the person about whom she spoke. And what did I do, you might reasonably ask. Well, I just played coy and let her gush, assuring her she wasn't embarrassing herself, and that everything was just fine while I talked mostly to the chap at my left, mostly about chess, university, and politics. Did I mention that this young-missy is not only hawwwwwwwt but the general centre of attention in said haunt, the object of countless leers, mumbled "oh yeaaaaahhhhs" and barely-restrained Homer-like drooling ("Mmmmm.... Hawwwwwwt-tieeeeee....")? My ego runneth over. Or, rather, it does now: I wasn't letting it last night (because that would be bad form, of course). But to be the subject of such abject, girly-girl fawning.... Oh yeaaaahhhh.... I'm sure all of you can see my evil, evil grin right now.

      Is there romance or anything like it in the offing? No, probably not, almost definitely not. Is there anything more to this? Again, probably, almost definitely, not. But, damn, was it nice to be in that position again. The funny thing is this, that it reminded me of my early university days in Derek Cohen's Introduction to Drama class, wherein a cabal of young lasses would gather in the back row and go on endlessly about Derek's voice sounding (to their naive ears) so much like Sean Connery's. So, I had a Derek moment last night, and I'll tell ya, it's better than pills for this pill. Oh yeah, that's the ticket....

      Am I tooting my own horn here, being a little-too-pleased with myself? Well, maybe. (For how often it happens, I'm allowed, gall-darnit.) I'm also a bit pleased that I didn't do anything in the least to solicit such a response, or to encourage it (tho' I sure as *hell* didn't discourage it, either; whaddya think I am, freakin' stupid?), and I sure didn't do anything to pursue or progress matters. Who knew there was still gas in the tank? I certainly didn't. Well, that's not entirely true, but let's not get tied up in facts here. Let's not get caught up in the fact that this poor young lass must be delusional, blind, or otherwise insane, and let's not get caught up in the ridiculousness of it all. She was moist for my voice, and unabashedly so. And it was HIGH-larious. I can barely stop chuckling as I write this entry.

      At this point, there's only one thing to do: [Cue the music] STRUT. ~~Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk, / I’m a woman’s man: no time to talk....~~

      Wait. Did I just quote the Bee Gees? What the holy hell?!?!?!? Are those four horsemen I see riding across the horizon? No matter. ~~Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive. / Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin’ alive....~~

      Post-Script: This blog assures you that the Not-So-Good Doctor has not gone off his meds, and it apologizes profusely for this truly uncharacteristic spiel from him-- even though this blog is pretty sure Doctor J has just made many of you pee yourselves with hysterical laughter. This blog would like to assure all concerned that Doctor J will return to his oh-so-cranky self soon, and that he will be appropriately reprimanded when he does. The Bee Gees. Moron. Damn it, and this blog works so hard to keep his ego in check. Tsk tsk tsk. A shame, really. Now if only this blog could get him to stop walking like that....