07 December 2004

The Limburger Babies

      So, a new survey reports that Leonardo DiCaprio's "I'm the king of the world!" from Titanic is the cheesiest moment in film. **sigh** Now, admittedly, there's fromage aplenty in that bit, but it's nor prime limburger, demonstrating once again how short people's memories are. How about these truly fragrant moments, all of which belong in a Monty Python sketch? (And keep in mind, I'm not talking Glen or Glenda? or Posion Ivy 2 here; we're hunting big game here.)

  • "Love means never having to say you're sorry." Love Story. The Grand-daddy of 'em all.
  • "And tomorrow is another day!" Gone With The Wind. Most overrated movie EVER.
  • "And I'll miss you most of all, Scarecrow!" The Wizard of Oz. Gag! Retch!
  • "Get off my plane!" Harrison Ford in Air Force One. Oh-chee-mama.
  • That poor, nearly-ruinous epilogue delivered by dear, dear Peter Falk in describing the way Westley's and Buttercup's kiss put all other kisses in history to shame in The Princess Bride.
  • "I've got a bad feeling about this." Any Star Wars film. Any Star Wars character.
  • This sickening nugget, uttered by Billy Crystal, in When Harry Met Sally:

    I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle in your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
    Barf! Excuse me, I'm not done yet.  
    Okay, I think I'm done now....    (Just had to make sure it was all out.)
  • Any scene with Liv Tyler in the Lord of the Rings movies. All those poor diabetics in the audiences nearly went into seizures.
  • "Why does this keep happening to us?" Bonnie Bedelia in Die Hard 2.
  • "Life is like a box of chocolates." Tom Hanks. You know the movie.
  • That whole "I want the truth" / "You can't handle the truth" exchange in (sigh) A Few Good Men
  • Take your frickin' pick. (Okay, so this one isn't big game hunting, but it deserves to be here for the pure and utter awfulness of it all.)
  • "Yeah, but your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should." Jeff Goldblum, preaching again, in Jurassic Crap, er, Park.
  • Pick a speech, any speech, from Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. "I want the fairy tale," perhaps?
  • The "Win Just One For The Gipper" speech from Ronald Reagan in Knute Rockne, All American
  • "Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world...." That whole putrid Wes Bentley speech from American Beauty
  • Kevin Costner's "I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that go on for three days" ramble in Bull Durham
  • Laurence Olivier, shouting at Neil Diamond in The Jazz Singer: "I hefffff no son!!!!!"
  • Tom Cruise, in an other offender from Jerky, er Jerry Maguire: "You complete me." Too bad he wasn't missing an appendage (that we know of).
  • Pat Morita, in the most ill-advised words to give a teenager in The Karate Kid: "Wax-on, wax-off."
  • Faye Dunaway, acting up a storm as Joan Crawford in Mommie Dearest: "No wire hangers!!!"
  • Mia Farrow, in Rosemary's Baby: "This isn't a dream! This is really happening!" And we thank you for the exposition....
    and, of course:
  • "Soylent Green is people!" `Nuff said.
Any additions, anyone? Oh, there must be hundreds of them.....

No comments:

Blog Archive