Erick and Clarabelle

      You've heard about those spam emails going around claiming to offer you access to a vault of money, if only you could help out some poor bastard who's been in hospital for xxx years.   Well, Gene Weingarten decided to entertain the idea, with amusing results.   This blog's favourite bit: "She [Gene's wife] likes compliments on account of she never gets them because of her personality." Ho-ho!

      Also, though it's a month old now, check out Gene's answer to a young lad named Erick who wrote in with a question about the "when I was your age" syndrome. The whole piece is very funny, but the beginning is a riot:

Dear Erick:

You ask an excellent question, and it deserves an honest, straightforward, respectful answer. Unfortunately, for some reason you asked me. What kind of a stupid name is "Erick," anyway? I realize this is not your fault, per se, but the apple never falls very far from the tree, if you see what I am saying. Unnecessary consonants are the enemy of brevity. And because brevity is the soul of wit, your name is an affront to the art of humor. And since humor is mankind's main defense against the existential horror of existence, you are a living embodiment of loneliness, despair, chaos, decay and death.

Thanks for writing!

"You are a living embodiment of loneliness, despair, chaos, decay and death."   Brilliant.