Excuses, Excuses

      Oy vey. As many of my regular readers here know (some probably all too well), I've become extremely slow with email over the years, and I'm seeming only get to worse with it with Age. To top it off, the flurry of emails with which I am now backed up like an old woman who's eaten too much cheese has tended to consist of messages that, in answering them, require responses longer than a few lines, and my lazy-arsed-self has a tendency to suffer from Hamlet-like fits of procrastination. I assure you, this is never a personal thing: it's just plain old-fashioned indolence on my part. For those of you waiting for emails-- Laura, Chris, Zozo, Rori, among too many others-- be aware that I'm taking the better part of this morning to get caught up on all the correspondence, and you should receive something by around noon. I may (God, Darwin, and Aretha Franklin willing) even get to responding to the comments on the blogs, depending on how much coffee I can funnel into my system. You know it's going to be a long morning when you begin considering, as I have, the feasibility of drinking coffee out of a yard. Alas, It'd never work; I wouldn't be able to stir in the milk and sugar. Besides, I'd probably start to look like Joe Cocker mid-ballad, my meagre little body a series of tremors, tics and spasms-- Bugs Bunny after a magic potion, or Paul Martin trying to explain the sponsorship scandal. Just rest assured, he says aware there are many emails to go before he sleeps, I'm working on it. Now-- batten down the hatches, and bring on the coffee!

      Oy.... It's a cold, ugly Wednesday morning, as wet as Paris Hilton in a crack-house. Hump day, indeed.

      UPDATE: It's 10 am, and I've barely nicked the iceberg. Am reminded of Steven Wright's great line from some years ago: "I'm studying evolution. It's going realllllllll slooooooooow...." And why is it that even smarter comedians can't figure out how to use adverbs properly? Back to the mail....

      UPDATE: It's just after 12:30pm, and I'm finally (I think, he says, hoping he's not forgotten something or someone) DONE. For now. I'm now feeling absolutely protoplasmal. I'm too old for this sort of thing....