Confessions of a *Cough, Cough* Eater

      A few years ago, someone using the moniker The Chill One spoiled the season of Survivor by publishing the week-to-week eliminations and correctly naming the winner. Well, now it seems he may have done it again. Sure, this may be planted information and so on and so forth (I put nothing past that media pimp Mark Burnett), but the Chill's description of the first episode was spot on. Anyway, for those of you just dying to know what happens with this insipid show, click here. Just think, if he's right, you may have saved yourself just over a dozen hours of unwanted television viewing.

      Brief qualification to add: No, Doctor J is NOT a Survivor watcher, and cannot abide the idiotic show. He did, however, have to watch last night for two reasons:

      (1) to see if The Chill One did have something to his claims;
      and (2, by far the more important reason) to see cute little Amber in a bikini again. ;-)

Yes, Doc Jay was ogling. He admits it. Freely. If, as the saying goes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, then the N-S-G Doctor would like to answer, in his best impression of Ralph Wiggum, "I like beholding!"

      As a friend has observed, Dr J has an unabashed "attraction to nymphets" that "all look like something Dracula would have for breakfast." Yep. Yep yep yep yep yep. Guilty as charged, your honour. Oddly enough, the Doctor's feeling a might peckish now. ;-) In the immortal words of Dame Maggie Smith in Gosford Park, "Nummy nummy..."

      (Oh, I'm going to get flamed for this one. But Shakespeare was wrong: Depravity is the soul of wit. Here endeth the lesson.)

--- "Some people say I'm vulgar. I say that's bullshit." (Mel Brooks)