Absolutely Knockered

Oh, I know you've all been waiting for it, the political and semiotic dimensions of the Janet Jackson fiasco, the, er, fallout for which has been astonishing in the depths of its hypocrisy and self-righteous incredulity. One of the better articles that I've seen on the subject (and how can one avoid them?) comes from the otherwise distastefully left-wing site AlterNet, but which makes some good points that I wish everyone in their right bleedin' minds would remember. There's an entire cottage industry sprouting from this, and some articles are citing internet search engines' claims that Janet's breast has been the subject of more searches than 9/11. Oy vey. Why am I writing about this here, then?, you might ask with a certain amount "gotcha" implied in your voice. In fact, I found the original flash nothing more than an "oops" joke, and found the thing a bit funny.

I don't find funny though, and this is what summons my ire here, the extent of the American fascination with this: the chimes (and chimes and chimes and chimes) of moral and ethical decay, the economics-based-apologiae from left of centre-critics; in short, the chorus of hypocisy and critical-pretense of the entire community of pundits, most of whom are using Janet Jackson and company as Jerry Springer guests to assuage their own need to be morally superior. We have Jackson and company being cast as pariahs, while commentators and complainers act as parasites. You know things have spun completely out of control when Peter Howell from The Toronto Star starts to seem like the voice of reason. All in all, this brouhaha is all too typical of the American propensity toward blinkeredness and excessive moral zeal. Let's face it: America has a Malvolio complex. Now if only we could get them all in their appropriate yellow garters.

By the way, some of the better lines I've heard in relation to the fiasco:

"Asked about his sister, apparently Michael turned white with embarrassment."

"It's a tempest in a C cup."

"Apparently, if Justin Timberlake gropes one more woman, he'll be eligible to become Governor of California."

Ah, this blog just *cannot* wait until Umberto Eco puts together the complete semiotic analysis of The Day The World Changed.

ADDENDUM: Check out, if you dare, the text of the law suit filed by that bank employee with no life in Tennessee. Check out some of the key phrases, most of which have not been emphasized in media reports about this boondoggle: "the plaintiff class would include all American citizens who watched the outrageous conduct" (yipin yiminies...); "families have an expectation that they can trust companies and individuals such as the defendants" (eargh...); and "the individual defendants commited extreme and outrageous conduct which went beyond the bounds of decency and which defendants knew or should have known was conduct considered atrocious and utterly intolerable in American communities" (emphasis added). My lord... But perhaps the killer line: "Plaintiff will fairly and adequate protect the members of the Class," which basically means that this woman will protect the people of the United States?!?!?!? Yes, I know this is moreorless typical language of such documents, but this boggles the otherwise sane mind.