Horoscopes for Today

Oh, they are to laugh.....

From Indystar: "You love to be in love, but today, you could give your heart too easily and to the wrong person."

From astrology.com: "The issues are muddled. The situation might be beyond your control. The Stars change the outcome, but it could really be doing you a favor. Wait and see before taking an oath or sealing your fate. Dedicated Virgos work to improve the lives of others, but what about your own?"

From Planet Quake: "Small groups will be more appealing than crowded servers this week. You will be able to initiate a more creative style of gameplay that you have been wanting to try out for some time. Don't worry about embarrassing yourself if your game starts off a little poorly, you'll improve your new technique as you go along! Your efforts will not go unobserved, you'll find people complimenting you in no time. You must get into a position that will enable you to present your ideas to those in a position to help you reach your goals. You're all about strategy this week, play smart and you'll have a blast. Your best game day this week will be Saturday!" --- WTF!?!?!?!?!

From Webscopes: "This is the time in your life when you can expand your mind and your potential. Get out and experience all the world has to offer. If you have ever wanted to do some traveling, this is the time to do it." --- Even bigger WTF!?!?!?!?

From S-T.com: "Your personal life may be shifting a little. Keep your private affairs to yourself. Someone could take advantage of you, so protect your interests. ***"

And in cross hor(ror)scopes:

OX/Virgo

Virgo Oxen are genuinely clear puddles of virtue in this murky mire we contend with every day. But, in truth, I think I would be afraid to step into the shoes of such a "good guy". Virgos make excellent friends. So do Oxen. Virgos work hard. So do Oxen. Virgos pay their bills and cultivate their own gardens and stay out of trouble and keep their noses and their nests neat and clean - so do Oxen. It's a marriage made in heaven. This person can do great things with his life. Count on him when you need sound counsel. Don't ask him to teach you how to cheat on your taxes. Virgo Oxen are amongst the most honest of souls. They couldn't recognize a subterfuge if they ate it for dinner. What's bad about them? Not much, really, except they suffer more than they should because even if they protect themselves with asbestos gloves, they soon discover to their dismay that this bed of roses they are living in is covered with tough thorny prickles that can penetrate the most pristine of souls.

No kidding...... That one finally sounds right, probably too right....