Forget about that ridiculous wardrobe malfunction incident. Apparently this year’s Superbowl halftime prompted 150 disgusted complaints to the FCC from viewers and The Smoking Gun website has posted some of them. Basically the Superbowl seems to be more of a revelation about the twisted psyches of the viewers than it is about the football. Here is one of the most insane complaints and it begs the question of whether most of these people have the IQ required to work a spellchecker:
It was obscene to show Prince a HOMOSEXUAL person through a sheet as to show his siluette while his guitar showed a very phalic symbol coming from his below-midriff section. I am very offended and I would preffer not to have showed it to my 4 children who love football. One of them has hoped to be a quarterback and now he will turn out gay. I am actually considering to check him for HIV. Thanks CBS for turning my son gay
Most of the complainants agreed that Prince was giving a graphic phallic display (not realizing it was his symbol from when we couldn't call him Prince), however their versions are pretty different. Some described seeing stains on the curtain he was behind (they were looking very closely I guess), his stroking of the guitar neck, some saw testicles (on a guitar?) and one was appalled that the protrusion had the appearance of a massive pitchfork (Yowzah!). Apparently one man was so ashamed of his size in comparison that he couldn’t perform that night. Sure buddy, keep telling yourself that...
Other than Prince, half the complaints to the FCC were focused on the Snickers commercial that was pulled because gay rights groups rightly protested that the men who accidentally kissed had to do something ‘manly’ to wash away the taint of gayness. Naturally if thoughts of Prince’s package prompted such complaints, imagine the homophobic outrage this commercial caused. Again, some people claimed they saw tongues intertwining and heard them making ‘prurient noises’, one person wrote something about one of the men simulating an erection in the other’s face??? Um, what commercial were you freaks watching because it sounds like you stumbled onto a wicked episode of kink. They were all upset however about being tricked into watching ‘gay sex’ when they thought they were just going to see some football.
What astounds me is this: isn’t football kinda gay to begin with? All those guys in tight spandex pants, who run around and dive on one another, wriggle around and then smack each other on the ass for a doing a good job with the pinning and wriggling??
p.s. the title of this post has a link just for fun