22 March 2007

Has the whole world gone gay?



Forget about that ridiculous wardrobe malfunction incident. Apparently this year’s Superbowl halftime prompted 150 disgusted complaints to the FCC from viewers and The Smoking Gun website has posted some of them. Basically the Superbowl seems to be more of a revelation about the twisted psyches of the viewers than it is about the football. Here is one of the most insane complaints and it begs the question of whether most of these people have the IQ required to work a spellchecker:

It was obscene to show Prince a HOMOSEXUAL person through a sheet as to show his siluette while his guitar showed a very phalic symbol coming from his below-midriff section. I am very offended and I would preffer not to have showed it to my 4 children who love football. One of them has hoped to be a quarterback and now he will turn out gay. I am actually considering to check him for HIV. Thanks CBS for turning my son gay


Most of the complainants agreed that Prince was giving a graphic phallic display (not realizing it was his symbol from when we couldn't call him Prince), however their versions are pretty different. Some described seeing stains on the curtain he was behind (they were looking very closely I guess), his stroking of the guitar neck, some saw testicles (on a guitar?) and one was appalled that the protrusion had the appearance of a massive pitchfork (Yowzah!). Apparently one man was so ashamed of his size in comparison that he couldn’t perform that night. Sure buddy, keep telling yourself that...

Other than Prince, half the complaints to the FCC were focused on the Snickers commercial that was pulled because gay rights groups rightly protested that the men who accidentally kissed had to do something ‘manly’ to wash away the taint of gayness. Naturally if thoughts of Prince’s package prompted such complaints, imagine the homophobic outrage this commercial caused. Again, some people claimed they saw tongues intertwining and heard them making ‘prurient noises’, one person wrote something about one of the men simulating an erection in the other’s face??? Um, what commercial were you freaks watching because it sounds like you stumbled onto a wicked episode of kink. They were all upset however about being tricked into watching ‘gay sex’ when they thought they were just going to see some football.

What astounds me is this: isn’t football kinda gay to begin with? All those guys in tight spandex pants, who run around and dive on one another, wriggle around and then smack each other on the ass for a doing a good job with the pinning and wriggling??

p.s. the title of this post has a link just for fun

8 comments:

Dr J said...

One of them has hoped to be a quarterback and now he will turn out gay.

Oh Gawd, I hope so: if this guy's that ignorant, he deserves the life-lessons in tolerance and compassion he might learn from actually having a gay son. Oh, wait. Maybe somebody better teach all of those boys how to box, just in case. *rolls eyes*

(Actually, I'd call shenanigans on that quoted complaint: it reads like it was written by a 12 year old, right down to the phrase "very phalic symbol." If, however, it was written by an adult, let's merely pray, even those agnostic and atheist among us, that his children aren't being home-schooled.)

j said...

good grief, first it was the "swimming community", now it's american football, what next the tennis community? hmm, wonder if gay rights groups would consider it a conquest of the "manly" (read bigoted) sports arena?!

nic, you're spot on about the sport, hehe, can't wait to hear your take on rugby, hey, they're not even armoured!


j

http://www.roguespeak.blogdrive.com

nic said...

I thought the bit about checking the kid for HIV was the stunning part!
There was one comment in particular that really sounded fake -where the guy said the size of Prince's 'shadow' made them unable to perform (and yes, he used the plural so I'm not sure how many people were tragically affected). I'm sure some of the 150 complaints were written by people who didn't receive lobotomies in the Tennessee backwoods but the smoking gun people know what's fun to post (so terrible to pick on southerners...I blame Deliverance).

I've seen very little rugby but I get the impression that there's more pain than pleasure in those tackles. But hey, they do wear some spankin' short shorts! ;)

j said...

hmm, the pain/pleasure matrix is probably best left to the experts, nic ;)

gasp, you don't happen to be a fan of the sport (rugby) are you? - sorry, personal prejudices kick in ...

nic said...

no, I do watch soccer but I've been told soccer is for ladies and rugby is a man's game. Who am I to mess with logic like that?

sylvia said...

OK, now that I've stopped laughing my ass off at the idea that there's anyone left who still watches the Super Bowl for the football ... I can start laughing my ass off at the Smoking Gun letters.

And, you know, if I'd seen these texts posted on a random web site somewhere, I'd be inclined to call BS -- especially on "Thanks CBS for turning my son GAY"; but would somebody really go to the trouble of e-mailing (or whatever) the FCC with a fraudulent complaint on the off chance the text will end up somewhere where everyone can laugh at it? (I mean, I'm not saying it's impossible...)

On balance, though, I think the "penis with a pitchfork on the end" comment is my favourite. I mean, what would make a person even think of something like that? Hmmmm ...

Dr J said...

Just to be ridiculously semantic, but "penis with a pitchfork on the end" is just DEEPLY disturbing. The gravitational effect of the latter on the former would, I assume, be excruciating. Swing low, sweet....

Then again, it would give new meaning to the line, Somebody said, lift that bale. *runs away impishly*

(Too obscure? Wennnh!)

sylvia said...

Owowowowowowowowowow

That was not a visual I needed right now :^P.

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