Yes, It's Immature But...

      Some words, let's just face it, don't sound right. Even highly literate people who are fully aware of the actual meanings of such wonders often find themselves tittering when other people use them, or when they use them themselves. As Colin Mochrie once asked, "Do you giggle when you say Regina?" The strange thing is, though, that as giggle- and titter-inducing as such words are, however puerile such snickering ultimately is, we continue to use them with as much of a straight face as we can muster. "Uranus" will always cause a little twitch no matter how sincerely we say it. But here are some words that will no doubt forever bring out the 13-year-old in all of us:

      >> rectory, rectify, recto; oddly, "rectangle" doesn't seem to have this problem, despite have a blatant suggestion of, er, a specific, ahem, positionality.

      >> caucus (especially as a verb, as CNN thinks it always necessary to use it), coccyx, cock, coquette; and yet, "cockatiel" and "cockatoo" don't have these problems...

      >> Regina and angina; and, for Canadians, the most famous Canadian town of all, Dildo, Newfoundland. Imagine if one of the subdivisions within Regina were named Dildo.... *rolls eyes*

      >> seamen is now moreorless out with the politically-correct bathwater, but... Anyone remember the bit from Wayland Smithers? "Women and seamen don't mix, sir."

      >> haemorrhage still often gathers giggles from people preoccupied with, er, speedbumps.

      >> probably the worst famous name in the history of language, Englebert Humperdinck.

      >> how did squirrel become so nasty? well, if you don't know, count yourself blessed.

      >> the term Homo Erectus will never recover will it? Same with "homo[genized] milk."

      >> woodpecker. 'Nuff said, no matter how tautologous the dirty-minded sense is.

      >> rather inexplicably, the word swatch gets some people a-titter; strange what an off-rhyme does.

      >> assuage. The proximity to "ass wage" tickles, however asinine (there's another word) the association is.

      >> shitake -- or Shittake, depending on the given spelling-- still has people pronouncing it "shit-take," which is just a little too ironic concerning the process for growing them. And on that note, fungi fits on this list too.

      >> finger, especially as a verb. Organ is in the same boat here, too. The illiterates still love 'organism.'

      >> masticate and matriculate. How odd is it that your parents will encourage you to matriculate but probably not to.... Extirpate fits in this category, too.

      >> swallow, as a noun (as in the bird). "Oh, look, what a lovely swallow..."

      >> ejaculate, as a verb. Oh, the Coleridgean exclamation is now the expression that dare not speak its name.

      >> moist and its cognates. For some reason, damp doesn't suffer from the same stigmatism.

      >> curiously, urges causes chuckles, but "urge" doesn't. Go figure.

      >> thrust and all its cognate, except, curiously enough, not when associated with swordplay.

      >> one has to wonder why schism inspires and prism doesn't. Hmmm...

      >> fallacy and fallacious. How appropriate a word to be misread.

      >> prostrate. Strange how this word has fallen into this list of words, and is now stuck there and can't get up.

      >> whacking, and wax; but curiously enough, 'whack' isn't bound to this, thanks, primarily, to the mafia-connections to that word. Don't tell me you don't snicker while watching "The Karate Kid."

      >> commodious but not commodity. Another oddity.

      >> slurp seems pretty much inescapable, though I can't help but wonder how much of the problem comes from the onomatopoeic dimension of that word.

      >> asteroid. Need I say more?

      >> sepulcher. Something in the sound of that word.... Something between that odd "ulch" sound and that proximity to 'pecker.' (This one's a personal favourite.)

      >> titter and twitter.

      >> all words erecting and erupting, and leaving quite a mess.

      >> pistil, but yet not pistol. Any ideas on this? See also anil.

      >> penal. Irredeemable, methinks.

      >> facetious-- oh, another shit-take...

      >> one has to wonder why penetrate is generally okay, but penetration is not.

      >> approbate, so reminiscent of reprobrate, needs mention here, as does the word probe, as a verb, anyway.

      >> and, of course, dictum ("Damn near killed 'im... "). This blog will add nothing of the English dessert "spotted dick," save to say that Doc J won't be eating it ever. Call it a matter of principle. ;-)

And, lo, there are so many more I should include here. Oh, our langauge, what have we done to thee? Alas, though, there's also a glee to such childish silliness. But consider it proof-positive that we all have a bit of the adolescent mentality stirring within. Perhaps we're all a little verbally priapic-- Y-chromosome or no. I don't wanna grow up....