Gigli, Gigli ("It rhymes with 'really'") Bad Movie Season....

It really isn't nice to revel in the disasters of others, but in the case of Gigli, I'll gladly make an exception. Check out this review from the Globe and Mail, which describes the fiasco as "a hypnotic, black hole of a movie that sucks reputations, careers and goodwill down its vortex." Hee hee. Apparently the movie is so bad that the words before the inevitable sex scene between J.Lo and Affleck are "It's turkey time" (!?!?!), and that it offers the unique opportunity to have audiences mooned by Lainie Kazan. This review from the Miami Herald is also quite funny. There's a particular kind of joy in savour critical vitriol which, all considered, hasn't been nearly as good as I'd anticipated.

Addendum: Preliminary reports on the opening week earnings: $3.8 million. Oh my god. That's not even enough to cover the costs of J.Lo's tampons.

I have to admit, too, that I take a perverse thrill out of watching as the much-ballyhooed pictures for the summer continue to take a beating, or to do far less business than had been expected. Lara Croft hasn't made anywhere near the money that was expected (one wonders if the producers knew it was going to tank unless they made the entire promotional process about Angelina Jolie's sexual inclinations); The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen more or less proved a disaster; The Hulk came and went with the speed of the Flash; and Terminator 3 was bahhk, and nobody really noticed. Even The Matrix Reloaded and X2: X-Men United made far less than had been hoped. Other relative losers include Bruce Almighty, which fizzled despite Jim Carrey and Jennifer Aniston, and Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle, which succeeded only in cock-teasing itself. Sure, many of these movies had strong or decent opening weekends, but did any of them have staying power? No. It really looks like the big winner for the summer is going to be Finding Nemo and Pirates of the Caribbean, both of which had comparatively little pre-publicity.

Please say this means people are getting smarter and turning away from hype. Nah, I know better than to set myself up for an ounce of optimism. ;-)

I should qualify all this: I haven't seen any of these movies, so I have no preferences per se, for or against. Even if I had wanted to.