Transcripts of Horror

I really don't know what to make of the court-ordered release of the transcripts of the September 11th radio conversations of the New York and New Jersey Port Authority. While I understand the desparate of need of some 'to know' what happened, and I understand too why they technically should be released under freedom of information policies, I really don't know what good any of this does for anyone involved, with the possible exception of the emergency personnel who might be able to determine errors in judgment and find ways to prevent similar errors from happening should future attacks take place. I can't say I'm ambivalent on the matter, but I can't say I'm of a pro- or con- opinion either. Is it in any way cathartic or helpful for the survivors? Does it expose any fundamental cover-ups on the part of the Port Authority? Does it really provide any ultimate insight?

My answer to all of those questions, based on what I've seen and heard, is no. Even the errors of judgment seem to me to have been inescapable with the truly horrifying nature of what happened that day; there will always, sadly, be people who make what turn out to be the wrong decisions in the end, given, especially, the situational chaos and the emotional and mental haze that finally clouds one's actions within such a nightmare. I don't know. I think they have to be released, if only for archival purposes, if only for people to know that they're there. In the end, though, the transcripts strike me as artifacts we keep to remember history, to remember what truly can and does happen in this world.

As for me, I don't think I want to study them closely, or even peek in on the dying. Then again, I have no desire to visit the camps at Dachau or Bergen-Belsen, either. Perhaps that makes me weak, or perhaps it means I want to be able to turn at least a partial blind-eye to history, to have not to look right into the horror itself; but I also think that I don't need to watch corpses decompose to understand death better than I already do. I just hope that people treat these transcripts with appropriate sombriety and decency.

For those interested, you can read the piece in today's NYTimes on these transcripts here, if you have the free subscription.