Bridget Jones' Diarrhea?

      This blog is terrfied that Microflaccid is trying to develop this. I don't know about you, but if such a Gatesian recording device were monitoring my life signs, I'm sure I'd end up unable to do even simple tasks, parts of me would arbitrarily stop responding to my brain, and my heart itself would repeatedly tell me I'd suffered from fatal exception errors which turn my face bright blue. I'll say nothing about my subsequent susceptability to virii or even, ouch, anonymous penetration. I'm also pretty confident my di*k integrity would end up severely compromised. No, no, no, no, no....