Bounty Call At The Pelting Farm

      For those of you wondering what-the-fark (this blog refuses utterly to use the "wtf" abbreviation so common to "the internets") the difference is between Canadian and American Thanksgiving, this site should help to remedy your confusion.   There are a few other dimensions worth noting, some worth noting if only to inform those outside of the Great White North what Canada really is like, and, in fact, what a "distinct society" we well and truly are:

• Canadians eat beaver instead of turkey;
  
• We bless the beaver before we eat it (oh boy, do we ever);
  
• We do so generally after much-too-much beer has been consumed, and usually after hockey games, though not this year;
  
• The beaver is usually complemented by a buffet of fine juices, though not all of them are aromatic per se;
  
• After several morsels, we keep turning up our heads and asking, "Eh?"
  
• There is occasionally some activity to follow the eating of the beaver, but almost definitely then followed by a very deep sleep;
  
• There is an ancient ritual of reciprocating back to the beaver on Thanksgiving: if it truly has given a dam, it is rewarded with praise, deference, and greater attention in the preparation than it normally receives;
  
• Burping during the dinner is strictly forbidden;
  
• Burping after the dinner is discouraged but tolerated, and in some circumstances it is taken as a demonstration of appreciation;
  
• Men are occasionally allowed to go to Tim Horton's after dinner, but only if they have eaten all of what's been presented;
  
• Stuffing is entirely at the discretion of the hostess;
  
• Vegetables may or may not be included in the proceedings, but usually only carrots, cucumbers, tubers, and for the truly hearty, rutabagas (baby-corns being frowned upon);
  
• Although pie is generally served, hostesses regularly insist that their diners take care of their own whipped cream;
  
• We truly do end up giving thanks for giving, even if many wish the holiday were called "Thanksreceiving";
  
• And, perhaps most oddly, the more you spill in your lap, the better. But do not describe the meal as "bounty-licious." This will surely get your barred from eating for a very, very long time.  

You'll observe the Canadian avoidance of corn on this holiday, a fact some consider a strange ceremonial hole, but which is perhaps best understood as a distaste for maize for basting, though it's not uncommon among those that spend the holiday alone.   But the rest, as they say, is gravy.   So, my fellow Canadians, let us bow our heads and enjoy.   Eat up-- and remember: We Are Canadian!