15 January 2004

Yes, It's Immature But...


      Some words, let's just face it, don't sound right. Even highly literate people who are fully aware of the actual meanings of such wonders often find themselves tittering when other people use them, or when they use them themselves. As Colin Mochrie once asked, "Do you giggle when you say Regina?" The strange thing is, though, that as giggle- and titter-inducing as such words are, however puerile such snickering ultimately is, we continue to use them with as much of a straight face as we can muster. "Uranus" will always cause a little twitch no matter how sincerely we say it. But here are some words that will no doubt forever bring out the 13-year-old in all of us:

      >> rectory, rectify, recto; oddly, "rectangle" doesn't seem to have this problem, despite have a blatant suggestion of, er, a specific, ahem, positionality.

      >> caucus (especially as a verb, as CNN thinks it always necessary to use it), coccyx, cock, coquette; and yet, "cockatiel" and "cockatoo" don't have these problems...

      >> Regina and angina; and, for Canadians, the most famous Canadian town of all, Dildo, Newfoundland. Imagine if one of the subdivisions within Regina were named Dildo.... *rolls eyes*

      >> seamen is now moreorless out with the politically-correct bathwater, but... Anyone remember the bit from Wayland Smithers? "Women and seamen don't mix, sir."

      >> haemorrhage still often gathers giggles from people preoccupied with, er, speedbumps.

      >> probably the worst famous name in the history of language, Englebert Humperdinck.

      >> how did squirrel become so nasty? well, if you don't know, count yourself blessed.

      >> the term Homo Erectus will never recover will it? Same with "homo[genized] milk."

      >> woodpecker. 'Nuff said, no matter how tautologous the dirty-minded sense is.

      >> rather inexplicably, the word swatch gets some people a-titter; strange what an off-rhyme does.

      >> assuage. The proximity to "ass wage" tickles, however asinine (there's another word) the association is.

      >> shitake -- or Shittake, depending on the given spelling-- still has people pronouncing it "shit-take," which is just a little too ironic concerning the process for growing them. And on that note, fungi fits on this list too.

      >> finger, especially as a verb. Organ is in the same boat here, too. The illiterates still love 'organism.'

      >> masticate and matriculate. How odd is it that your parents will encourage you to matriculate but probably not to.... Extirpate fits in this category, too.

      >> swallow, as a noun (as in the bird). "Oh, look, what a lovely swallow..."

      >> ejaculate, as a verb. Oh, the Coleridgean exclamation is now the expression that dare not speak its name.

      >> moist and its cognates. For some reason, damp doesn't suffer from the same stigmatism.

      >> curiously, urges causes chuckles, but "urge" doesn't. Go figure.

      >> thrust and all its cognate, except, curiously enough, not when associated with swordplay.

      >> one has to wonder why schism inspires and prism doesn't. Hmmm...

      >> fallacy and fallacious. How appropriate a word to be misread.

      >> prostrate. Strange how this word has fallen into this list of words, and is now stuck there and can't get up.

      >> whacking, and wax; but curiously enough, 'whack' isn't bound to this, thanks, primarily, to the mafia-connections to that word. Don't tell me you don't snicker while watching "The Karate Kid."

      >> commodious but not commodity. Another oddity.

      >> slurp seems pretty much inescapable, though I can't help but wonder how much of the problem comes from the onomatopoeic dimension of that word.

      >> asteroid. Need I say more?

      >> sepulcher. Something in the sound of that word.... Something between that odd "ulch" sound and that proximity to 'pecker.' (This one's a personal favourite.)

      >> titter and twitter.

      >> all words erecting and erupting, and leaving quite a mess.

      >> pistil, but yet not pistol. Any ideas on this? See also anil.

      >> penal. Irredeemable, methinks.

      >> facetious-- oh, another shit-take...

      >> one has to wonder why penetrate is generally okay, but penetration is not.

      >> approbate, so reminiscent of reprobrate, needs mention here, as does the word probe, as a verb, anyway.

      >> and, of course, dictum ("Damn near killed 'im... "). This blog will add nothing of the English dessert "spotted dick," save to say that Doc J won't be eating it ever. Call it a matter of principle. ;-)

And, lo, there are so many more I should include here. Oh, our langauge, what have we done to thee? Alas, though, there's also a glee to such childish silliness. But consider it proof-positive that we all have a bit of the adolescent mentality stirring within. Perhaps we're all a little verbally priapic-- Y-chromosome or no. I don't wanna grow up....

14 January 2004

~~Stop, In The Name Of God...~~


      Word to Max von Sydow: stay the hell away from Kenya.

Lies, Damned Lies, And Statistics


      The less I say about this, the likelier I am to remain with my appendages in tact. Let's just say that none of this surprises me in the least. *shakes head* O shame, where is thy blush?

      Contrast that article, by the way, with this. Hmmm....

13 January 2004

Notes to Self


      Voici, mainly for RK, my outline for my lec today on A&C, which will probably sound cryptic... I assure you all, there is a logic thereto, and I stand surprisingly content with the order.

      Title: "The Love That Must Be Reckoned: An Apocalypse of Love."

          (i) The Triple Pillar and The Serpent of Old Nile
          (ii) Romance From The Outside
          (iii) Beyond Interiority: The Diva Mentality
          (iv) Enobarbus: That Truth Should Be Silent
          (v) Outstaring the Lightning
          (vi) Losing My Timing Like This: Send In The Clown
          (vii) Reckoning, and Metamorphosis: I Am Fire, Air

No particular genius therefore, mais... I'm glad merely I found a way to handle matters, within reason, within 50 minutes. Oy. We shall see. *shakes head vociferously*

Alas, were I still young and vital.... But still, Rocinante awaits.

12 January 2004

Needling The Little Grey Cells


      Oh, damn, I am getting lethargic in my dotage. (Yes, I'm overstating, but a little histrionic language can be a welcome thing, especially when one is writing about one's banality.) I'm supposed to return my students' essays tomorrow, and for the life of me I can't gather any energy just to get the blasted things done. Each paper seems to take not just an hour (on a second reading!), but by the end I feel so sapped that I immediately seek some sort of relief, however, trivial, including writing-- er, venting-- on this blog. Why is it that as I get older, or rather that the more I do this, the more I wish to run away from marking? Why is it that completing a single paper more often than not prompts me to want to seek sanctuary from the process entire by any means possible? Alas, my brain hurts, and not in the good ways of muscular gain-through-pain. I also have to wonder, though, if I'm just losing patience with the whole process, or if I'm just becoming (God forbid!) even more cynical than I already am. Maybe I've just reached Sir Winston's plateau at which bad prose becomes an unforgiveable sin, or maybe I just wish it were as easy as striking a gong when my patience evaporates. But, no, one has to be encouraging, corrective, and hope maybe some of the effort eventually proves instructive. That's my higher self speaking. My lower self, my less noble and certainly more visceral self, though that I could say what I feel and not what I ought to say. Ah, to be able to write comments like, "Yet another example when the night before leaves other people with a feeling of the morning after," or "Reading this, now I understand why some animals eat their young," or "This is a hilarious satire on undergraduate writing, but, er, oops, sorry." I guess part of the problem is this need to be politic and to suppress my own immediate reactions of dismay and frustration and disappointment. Mais, zut alors, I must plod through, like trudging through a bog with anvils for anklets. My intellectual gait feels like it's reverted to some australopithican state. One day, I'll have to figure out a way to maintain a kind of zippy, glib optimism about such things. And damned be damned, I still haven't figured out what I'm going to say tomorrow. *shakes head* It looks like I'll be having to pull a minor miracle out of an orifice to remain unnamed here. Oy vey. Enough rant. Back to the grind. Time to hoist my axe again... Damn, why must marking and sobreity be so antithetical to one another?!?!?! Grrrr. Arrrgh. Eooow.

I Love That Word REFOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRMM!


      Now this is interesting. Goodness only knows how all of this will unfold, but such gestures remind me of the last-ditch efforts of the dying-guards in East Germany and Romania just over a decade ago. Problem, though: the same gestures have worked in spades in China and North Korea. So, who knows how this will turn out. My point, as much as I have one, is this: for all the current talk about establishing democracy in Iraq (yeah, right, that's exactly the Americans want in Iraq, especially if the populace votes for fundamentalist leaders), the real proof of any changes in the political air of the Middle East will come from Iran, the only country in the Middle East that has truly known theocratic government, and also the only country with a viable reformist movement. This is a Draconian gesture, and it will either prove a consolidation of power by the mullahs, or it will prove a desperate, and self-dooming, act by a group aware that its power base is eroding. Let us hope the latter; somehow, it would be appropriate if the Iranian theocratic hardliners met, er, shall we say, such a Farsical end. Oh, I know, that is a bad one. Forgive me.

A Small Affirmation, and Some Listing Quibbles


      Rolling Stone, that great paean to the trendy and the inane, has thoroughly shocked me by including in the "50 Best Albums of 2003" the latest releases from (of all people) those old-timers Johnny Cash, the Reverend Al Green, and Van Morrison. Unfortunately, the Stone website doesn't provide a list, instead you have to click through one-by-one to see each entry on the list; what a pain in the ass. You can start the list here, with that oh-so-talented 50 Cent. I also like RS's description of Morrison's What's Wrong With This Picture? as "the hangover album of the year."

      Also from RS, there's their somewhat spurious list of the 500 Greatest Albums of the "rock" generation, though the list includes such non-rockers as Ray Charles, Muddy Waters, Aretha Franklin, and so forth. The thing I hate: the continued enervation of the Beatles' Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, which still seems to me to be one of the most vastly overpraised albums of all time. I'm not trying to diss the Beatles per se, but we continue to live in a culture that ceremonially fellates the spirit of John Lennon to the detriment of many artists that I think more significant and more influential. Here's the Top 25, with my own notes:

1. Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, The Beatles (inevitable... sigh)
2. Pet Sounds, The Beach Boys (last list I saw of this ilk, this was #1; didn't agree with that either)
3. Revolver, The Beatles (C'mon....)
4. Highway 61 Revisited, Bob Dylan (Fair enough.)
5. Rubber Soul, The Beatles (But, of course... Slurp, slurp, slurp.)
6. What's Going On, Marvin Gaye (Fair enough. We still miss ya, Marvin.)
7. Exile on Main Street, The Rolling Stones (Fair enough.)
8. London Calling, The Clash (Not my cup o' tea, but understandable.)
9. Blonde on Blonde, Bob Dylan (Fair enough. It's easy to forget how profound Dylan's influence really was.)
10. The Beatles ("The White Album"), The Beatles (I'd have thought this would have been higher; but here we are again...)
11. The Sun Sessions, Elvis Presley (I thought this would have been higher.)
12. Kind of Blue, Miles Davis (I'm surprised this wasn't in the Top 5)
13. Velvet Underground and Nico, The Velvet Underground (Iffy. Maybe 'round 25-30...)
14. Abbey Road, The Beatles (Okay, 5 in 14. Gimme a freakin' break. And their poop was burnished gold.)
15. Are You Experienced?, The Jimi Hendrix Experience (Top 10 contender, really.)
16. Blood on the Tracks, Bob Dylan (About right. Maybe a tad higher...)
17. Nevermind, Nirvana (Hugely influential, but crap. Maybe Top 40 or 50.)
18. Born to Run, Bruce Springsteen (About right. Maybe a tad high.)
19. Astral Weeks, Van Morrison (Used to be in the Top 5 all the time. This really seems low, and that's not my Van-Fan-ness speaking. This album used often to rank at #1.)
20. Thriller, Michael Jackson (I still hate this album, but you can't deny it's influence; I'd have thought top 15 or so...)
21. The Great Twenty-Eight, Chuck Berry (About right. Maybe a tad higher?)
22. Plastic Ono Band, John Lennon (Fuck off.)
23. Innervisions, Stevie Wonder (Fair enough.)
24. Live at the Apollo (1963), James Brown (Definitely should have been higher.)
25. Rumours, Fleetwood Mac (Hugely influential, great album, but 25 seems high; 40, perhaps?)

Some strange things to note here:

      Born to Run is an okay choice, but I would have thought Nebraska would have been up there somewhere in its place.

      As much as I loathe him now, it's a bit surprising that Rod Stewart's Every Picture Tells A Story has now been seriously demoted.

      Bob Marley doesn't register until #45, which I find surprising, as I do the low level given to Never Mind The Bollocks, even though I'm no fan of the album.

      Hotel California is ranked at #37, which was panned by Rolling Stone when it was released.

      Not one of the Top 25 is a solo-female album, and the female presences are marginal. The first female solo album is deigned to be Joni Mitchell's Blue at #30. The uteri will be protesting this.

      Robert Johnson is not in the Top 25? P'shaw.

      Achtung Baby! (#62) ranks higher than Moondance (#65)? Methinks not; the former had some real clunkers on it; the latter is a near-perfect album.

      Sticky Fingers is also relegated to the 60s; odd.

      Aretha's Lady Soul doesn't come up until #84, and that just seems wrong.

      The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan only peeks into the Top 100 at #97, and this seems to be a serious underassessment.

      Ray Charles' landmark Modern Sounds... doesn't even scratch the Top 100: it lands at 104, in a mind-boggling placement, especially considering that it is/was one of the most significant albums of all time.

      B.B. King's Live at the Regal is relegated to #141, behind Dr. Dre of all bleedin' people, which seems significantly out-of-step with critical opinion.

      And where the hell is Corey Hart???? Okay, I'm just kidding on that one... ;-)

I could probably go on forever with this, and this is all -- as much as possible-- side-stepping my own opinions in favour of general critical surveyance. Further proof such lists are, indeed, highly questionable. I long for the day when people can begin to get some critical context on the Beatles. I know, I know-- probably not in my lifetime...

11 January 2004

Argument In Favour Of Indolence


      Every now and again, I write a post that is thoughtful (and hopefully intelligent, but I leave it that there was merely some, however adequate or inadequate, thought involved), and such a post receives no comments, or very few -- and often minor-- comments. And yet, very often a one- or two- line entry will garner numerous comments.... Sometimes, I think I should just save myself the thought process. Or, perhaps, laziness is its own reward. Something to consider....

Whoa.


      Tonight's Alias was eff-ing excellent. I won't say anything more than that, except this: terrific work on narrative. The show was always pretty good, but tonight's just knocked it right out the proverbial ballpark. Watch, if ye haven't already.

10 January 2004

Hey, Ho, And The Words And The Drain,
   And The Drain It Draineth Every Day...


      Well, it looks like I've inherited the lot of my colleague's marking, so Doctor J is going to be a busy little bugger in the next wee bit. So much marking, he thinks to himself, like a shell-shocked war veteran. Sometimes I wonder if one has to be Sir Henry Rawlinson to make heads-or-tails of undergraduate esperanto (as complex as cuneiform, but certainly less sophisticated). Oh well, as they say, when it rains...

      Just a few bits and pieces for today, before I retreat into my academic warren for the next several days (and cling to the likely vain hope that I'll be able to get out for a few drinks tonight):

>> Sir Frank Kermode has a review in the NY Times on three new books about Shakie, including yet another quasi-biography by the voluminous Shakespearean Stanley Wells.

>> Ah, and here's a brief piece about a matter near and dear to the Not-So-Good Doctor's heart. Pardon me a moment while I wax nostalgic for simpler days.

>> Dave Barry's current column might be subtitled "Real Men Don't Make Concessions," and is a delight to read; and, before any of you ask, I have to admit I am as subject to a lot of the same basic responses as Guy A and Guy B, if only for the sake of spite and giving as good as one bloody well gets. *smirk*

>> And then there's this, which RK forwarded to me this morning, but which I've seen floating about the net for a while now. I can't help but find it ironic that RK sent this the day after the detestable Dr. Laura appeared on Larry King Live (with, of course, the shocking headline that "Dr. Laura Speaks Out!"). Anyway, for those of you who've not seen this before, it's worth remembering the old credo, "God save me the righteous and the holy":

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a U.S.radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a U.S.resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I learn a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can.

When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbours. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19-24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.

4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

5. I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35: clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

7. Lev.21:20states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting twodifferent crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them (Lev.24:10-16)? Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws (Lev. 20:14)?

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Alas, it's time to get some more work done, which should be heretical for a Saturday, which really is just par for the course. Off to do my flimsy impression of Rawlinson, praying I can sneak myself from this addling at least for a respite tonight.

Post-Script: The return to campus since my refashioning was partially hilarious, partially humiliating, as many of my older friends did their double-takes and pot-shots, the most typical being "You look sooooooooooo cuuuuuuuuuuuute," "You look like you're bloody 19!" and "Did you join the marines?" (On the latter, of course not: Canada has no marinary forces to speak of, save those submarines at the West Edmonton Mall.) But, oh it is fun fucking with people's expectations. *rubs hands villainously* But as I have wound up averring several times, the next person that uses the word "cute" in that pseudo-familial tone of a dozen W's strung together will find him- or herself subjected to a series of tortures and mutilations, including (but not limited to) gutting, garrotting, castrating, quartering, tarring, feathering, dissection, and public immolation. And if you tussle my hair at all, I'll think up even more excruciating punishments to visit upon you. Grrrrrrr....

09 January 2004

Harbor Lights: On Mark Strand


      Here are yet some more pieces from Mark Strand's marvellous volume Dark Harbor (1993), which I still esteem as probably the finest volume of poetry of the last twenty years. Unfortunately, my copy of the book disappeared some time ago, and it's been a bugger trying to find a replacement. The truly aweing thing about Strand's poetry is that he seems to appeal to all sorts of audiences, educated and uneducated, romantic and postmodern, conventionalist and innovator. His poetic voice is astonishingly distinct: there's no confusing a Strand poem with one by anyone else, in large part because he marries aloofness with closeness in a way that no contemporary poet can seem to do so gainfully. He is by turns wry, gentle, touching, absurd, ridiculous, hilarious, sombre, surreal, sensual, intellectual, ironic, and even inspirational, and at his best, as he is throughout Dark Harbor, he avoids lapsing into emotional slither or poetic pretentiousness. Sure, an educated reader is more likely to get more out of a Strand poem, but an uneducated reader, or even an educated reader with little disposition toward poetry, can still find many, even most, of his poems rewarding at some level. Let me know what any of you think.

   These pieces are culled from this site, but they're numberings are not as they appear in the final volume. The last piece (III here) is actually number XLV, the concluding poem to the volume. I should add also that, by the time he formulated the volume, all of these poems were rendered in tercets, in part, I suspect to affect an appropriate Dantean air of traversing mystical territory.

I

When after a long silence one picks up the pen
And leans over the paper and says to himself:
Today I shall consider Marsyas
Whose body was flayed to an excess
Of nakedness, who made no crime that would square
With what he was made to suffer.
Today I shall consider the shredded remains of Marsyas
What do they mean as they gather the sunlight
That falls in small pieces through the trees,
As in Titian's late painting. Poor Marsyas,
A body, a body of work as it turns and falls
Into suffering, becoming the flesh of light,
Which is fed to onlookers centuries later.
Can this be the cost of encompassing pain?
After a long silence, would I, whose body
Is whole, sheltered, kept in the dark by a mind
That prefers it that way, know what I'd done
And what its worth was? Or is a body scraped
From the bone of experience, the chart of suffering
To be read in such ways that all flesh might be redeemed,
At least for the moment, the moment it passes into song.

II

Our friends who lumbered from room to room
Now move like songs or meditations winding down,
Or lie about, waiting for the next good thing
Some news of what is going on above,
A visitor to tell them who's writing well,
Who's falling in or out of love.
Not that it matters anymore. Just look around.
There's Marsyas, noted for his marvelous asides
On Athena's ancient oboe, asleep for centuries.
And Arion, whose gaudy music drove the Phrygians wild,
Hasn't spoken in a hundred years. The truth is
Soon the song deserts its maker,
The airy demon dies, and others come along.
A different kind of dark invades the autumn woods,
A different sound sends lovers packing into sleep.
The air is full of anguish. The measures of nothingness
Are few. The Beyond is merely beyond,
A melancholy place of failed and fallen stars.

III

I am sure you would find it misty here,
With lots of stone cottages badly needing repair.
Groups of souls, wrapped in cloaks, sit in the fields
Or stroll the winding unpaved roads. They are polite,
And oblivious to their bodies, which the wind passes through,
Making a shushing sound. Not long ago,
I stopped to rest in a place where an especially
Thick mist swirled up from the river. Someone,
Who claimed to have known me years before,
Approached, saying there were many poets
Wandering around who wished to be alive again.
They were ready to say the words they had been unable to say
Words whose absence had been the silence of love,
Of pain, and even of pleasure. Then he joined a small group,
Gathered beside a fire. I believe I recognized
Some of the faces, but as I approached they tucked
Their heads under their wings. I looked away to the hills
Above the river, where the golden lights of sunset
And sunrise are one and the same, and saw something flying
Back and forth, fluttering its wings. Then it stopped in mid-air.
It was an angel, one of the good ones, about to sing.

The last piece, with the "shushing sound" of the angels recalls the description of the sea in Wallace Stevens' "The Idea of Order At Key West" that is "Like a body wholly body, fluttering / Its empty sleeves." (Stevens was a major influence on Strand.) But the glory of these poems is their fundamental simplicity. Sure, there are a number of nuances and complexities and so forth, but the poems do not depend on a poet-qua-poet's vocabulary; the imagery is simple, precise, direct, and intensely knowable, as if, in part, Strand were borrowing a page from the popularistic (and sometimes rustic) tendencies of Robert Frost. Even the allusions to mythology and art are not that complex, and easily resolved if one doesn't know them immediately. Notice, too, the exactitude of the enjambements. The breaks, the implied pauses, seem perfectly placed, and perfectly natural, to the point that-- perhaps again following Frost's famous dictum about poetic clarity rather than ambiguity, that a poem tells you how to read it, rather than letting you decide how to read it arbitrarily-- it's almost impossible to misread the poem orally. As such, his pacing is beautifully controlled, each line a clear phrase unto itself, before adding to or amending what's just been said. The effects are ones of accretion and accumulation, each line a next step in kind of progressive verbal waltz.

      I'd ask those of you bothering to read this to observe also some of the lovely little "incidental" phrases that seem to add so much. "One of the good ones," for example, is a beautiful little detail, affirmative without being pretentious, casual without being shallow, and it somehow adds a touch of joy to the anticipation of waiting for the angel to sing (which, of course, it doesn't do within the scope of the poem proper). "I'm sure you would find it misty here" is a nice touch as well, a bit wistful, a bit fond, and even a bit epistolary, though the place itself is left almost entirely to one's imagination; this is a place, it seems, of mists and shades and auras, but the tone of the line is so casual and informal, that it seems to engender a memory of familiarity, of a remaining link to a more immediately tangible reality. Sometimes, it's stunning what a truly fine poet can do with a simple phrase, not necessarily anchored down by ambiguities and suggestions of semiotic alterity, with mere denotation. Placed in the right context, measured in the right syllables, such phrases can sing beyond initial meaning. Some other phrases are just as "right," examples of les mots justes. "Soon the song deserts its maker" rings of the fact of abandonment without mourning over it; it's a fact, a somewhat sad fact, but not one to be ring one's heart over. "Not that it matters anymore" has both a touch of sadness and a touch of humour to it, the kind of reminder of reality that helps to keep the poem from lurching into metaphysical self-purchase. That it follows the line about "Who's falling in or out of love," subtle in its humourous invocation of gossip, the tinge of wry dismissal somehow affects a note of loss (that even great loves and partings eventually cease to matter, in the practical sense) while at the same time it grounds itself in the awareness of historical inevitability, that such loss is not necessarily something on which to wax elegaically but to be accepted this side of stoicism as part of the inescapable entropic pull of time.

      But these examples speak to one of Strand's great gifts, the ease of his speech; he is fluid, he is direct, he is, one might say, plain without suffering from plainness. While these poems might have melancholic or elegaic propensities, they don't simply surrender to those propensities; just as the poem seems to tip slightly in one direction, the poem counterbalances itself, as if to regain its composure, and the result is a lilting effect, a sombre but not entirely sad verbal ambulation. In a way, if you'll pardon the metaphor, Strand's voice here is tied to a kind of self-aware gait, and if you'll accept (and ideally agree with) that metaphor, the synchronicity, and the apparent ease of that synchronicity, resonates with intimacy, something most contemporary poets shrink from in terror. This in itself marks Strand as a poet of greater calibre than just about any of his surviving peers, with the possible exception of Seamus Heaney. Yes, these poems have a dreamy, airy quality to them, but at the same time they seem more real, more vaguely tangible than most poems that essay to trunk themselves in the familiar and the everyday.

      Here is another piece from Dark Harbor, again, in part a response to Wallace Stevens ("Waving Adieu, Adieu, Adieu"), that somehow wrests poignancy and affirmation from an idea that might otherwise seem an endstop, an endstop Strand's poem doesn't entirely deny, but which he seems to see as having an un(der)explored dimension to it. Here's the poem:

It is true, as someone has said, that in
A world without heaven all is farewell.
Whether you wave your hand or not,

It is farewell, and if no tears come to your eyes
It is still farewell, and if you pretend not to notice,
Hating what passes, it is still farewell.

Farewell no matter what. And the palms as they lean
Over the green, bright lagoon, and the pelicans
Diving, and the glistening bodies of bathers resting,

Are stages in an ultimate stillness, and the movement
Of sand, and of wind, and the secret moves of the body
Are part of the same, a simplicity that turns being

Into an occasion for mourning, or into an occasion
Worth celebrating, for what else does one do,
Feeling the weight of the pelicans' wings,

The density of the palms' shadows, the cells that darken
The backs of bathers? These are beyond the distortions
Of chance, beyond the evasions of music. The end

Is enacted again and again. And we feel it
In the temptations of sleep, in the moon's ripening,
In the wine as it waits in the glass.

And the imagery is beautiful, isn't it? "The weight of the pelican's wings," "the backs of bathers," "the moon's ripening," "the temptations of sleep," and the gorgeous concluding image of "the wine as it waits in the glass" -- there's a richness of vitality and sensuality to these images, as everything seems to proffer, to grow, to live in its own way, from the moon's maturing to the waiting of the wine. And the imagery seems unembellished, gloriously natural, as if these qualities of living are intrinsic to these things and merely not normally seen. There's a pseudo-romantic fecundity here that is, in the Modern period, rarely apparent, except in the poems of Wallace Stevens, and, like Stevens, he carefully steps around the trapdoors of hokeyness and soft-mindedness. This is a poem of surreal beauty rather than surreal disjunction or surreal ugliness-- and, as such, it speaks to, and touches, with a kind of mature sensuality, not unaware of death but astonishingly alive with the idea of death.

      I should tie this up shortly, but I mentioned Strand's humour earlier, and I fear none of the poem's I've offered really demonstrate that quality (even though Strand's earlier poetry waswell-known for it: see "Eating Poetry," for example). I'll end this discussion with a cheeky little play on naming (remember Strand's first name) and self-awareness, number XIX from Dark Harbor:
I go out and sit on my roof, hoping
That a creature from another planet will see me
And say, "There's life on earth, definitely life;

"See that earthling on top of his house,
His manifold possessions under him,
Let's name him after our planet." Whoa!

It's devilishly clever, and it's postmodern to the bone in the best sense of that possibility. In a way, this strikes me as a poetic version of a Far Side cartoon, even funnier for its undercurrent of serious possibilities, though the surface is pure stoner comedy. Leave it to Strand to do more with six lines than most could do with a chapter, and leave it to Strand to end a poem with "Whoa!" and still pull it off.

      Read Dark Harbour, my friends. It's a magnificent little volume, a mere 46 poems, none, I think, more than thirty-six lines. He deserves to be more widely read than he currently is.

Murdering Language


      Yeah, we all know that a group of crows is a murder and that a group of whales is a pod, but I've always had a hard time keeping track of the appropriate collective terms for certain animals. Well, here's a handy link to help you keep some of this stuff straight. Now, if only they provided explanations for why each of terms came into being... Nah, that'd be too much research, and I for one am too damned lazy to do it. Looking at this list reminds me of the genius of the phrase "Cry havoc / and let loose the dogs of war."

Please, Just So Kill Me Now...


      ... if this sort of crap qualifies as intellectual study. As I've said before, "colour me uninterested in the politics of masturbation and Friends." Oh, it looks as if Ms. Tagliamonte and her hired student had corn for lunch.

I Can't See The Difference, Can You See The Difference?


      Okay, fellow Ontarians, if you're reading this: give this article a gander, and, if you can, name me a single way in which Dalton McSquinty is different than Mike Harris or Ernie Eves. And you have to love the arrogance: “I am going to bring results-based budgeting to Canada for the first time.” Oh ho ho, "the first time." Thank you, our Messiah. And, by the way, if McSquinty is making "a case for government," the government truly needs a better advocate. In my books, Dalton is already looking like one of the most inept political leaders in Canadian history, and I'm sure that future portraits of the current premier will depict him with his fingers crossed behind his back, or in some sort yoga position which depicts the appropriate location of his head in the vicinity of his anus.

For Christie (and others)


      A reason to move to Austria. You've got to love the name: "The Super-Gau-Crazy-Card."

School Daze


      This blog just doesn't know what to say about this, except perhaps that innocence seems to have a shorter shelf-life with every passing day. It also makes me wonder how anyone can spout off about those media whores being decent role models for preteens.

Doh!


      Any man that does this, methinks, is probably just doing the human species a favour.

Brrrrrrrrrrrr.... The Discontent Of Our Winter, or
      Baby, It's F*$king Cold Outside!


      After what seemed a surprisingly mild introduction, winter has now set in with a vengeance. No, none of the pretty brown snow so typical of southern Ontario, but instead we've been assaulted with the skin-tightening chill that has, with midday near, temperatures in the -20C range, with a windchill factor that makes the temperature something more akin to -31 to -35C. (Of course this happens after I've abandoned my swarthy Celtic look; it makes me think there was something to the Samson story after all.) It is, as they say, colder than a Thatcher's teat out there, even if, thankfully, it's not as incapacitatingly frigid as it now is in Northern Ontario, Northern Quebec, and New Broomstick. Last night, the temperature fell to about -27C, combined with an ear-splintering windchill that made the temperature seem more like -40C. Worse, it seems it'll be like this for at least the rest of the weekend. I really hope all of the local alley cats are managing to find some sort of shelter from this deep freeze.

      As I write this, I'm reminded all too well of a report a few years ago that said that of the world capitals, Ottawa was the second coldest national capital in the world, on average warmer only than Ulan Bator in Mongolia. No wonder we Canadians spend so much time dithering and doddering about the weather, and asking mock-stoical questions like "Cold enough for ya?" whenever we're gathered at bus stops or coffee shops. Most parts of Canada are known for their schizophrenic temperatures, ranging from blistering cold in the deeps of winter to the thick, sweat-inducing humidity of summer, and I sometimes wonder if that's part of the sustained Canadian provinciality; restraint and self-ensconcement seems to be the necessary order of the day when one doesn't really know what the weather will be like from day to day. At least we're not usually treated to the more histrionic weather conditions-- typhoons, hurricanes, tornadoes, and so forth-- that most other parts of the world know all too intimately. Or, perhaps, those typhoons, hurricanes and tornadoes may just find Canada too damned cold in which to crack their vacationing cheeks. When the weather's like this, my rib cage feels like a set of Venetian blinds fluttering spasmatically about in a blizzard. Oh, for more temperate climes. Oh, how I long to establish the Doctor J School For Literary Studies at Barbados.... Sounds like a noble intellectual project, n'est-ce pas? Feel free to send your donations to Doctor J courtesy of....

This cold night will turn us all to fools and madmen.

On Reading King Lear Again


      It's an old argument that many of my former students have encountered, mainly from me, that Albany is probably the least understood character in Lear. I don't want to beat an antique drum here, but I do want to say that in rereading things tonight-- and don't ask me why I was rereading Lear when I should have been focussing on A&C or doing more marking, but I think-- keyword: think-- I've located the tonalities and performative dimensions of Albany, most of whose words in the fifth act need to rendered with sufficent terseness and direct invective to best understand his functions in the play. His lines have to be read, by my understanding, with a kind of adversarial daring, of brooking no longer the manipulations to which he allowed himself previously to be deceived. Maybe, perhaps when I get closer to teaching the play proper again (a few weeks away), I'll post here, to whoever's (or no one's, perhaps) edification, my own 'directorial' notes on how the part should be played, and how his lines need to be understood as a turning of the chessboard, and, indeed, a reinvention of the game he'd not known entirely was being played. In many ways, he, along with Edgar, is a nemetic figure, except that, unlike Edgar, he has been subject to a temporary blindness, the third in a triple pillar of blindness in the play (Gloucester and Lear being the other pillars). In part, Albany is a kind of Everyman, but he is not a coward, and nor is he indifferent, once he's awakened to the dimensions of humanity perpetrated by Goneril and company. And, even, there's an extent to which his (necessary) defeat of Cordelia's French army is basically a gesture of moving matters into his own domain. He's larger than we tend to assume, especially since our sympathetic attentions are so firmly fixed on Cordelia and Lear. But he's also an enabling figure in the turning of the tide, and a welcome one at that. Like Cordelia, his absences in the previous acts are, I think, as meant to be felt as such, in the if only sense.

Of which, perhaps more later. If anyone cares.

08 January 2004

That's The Way To Fool Their Preparation


      Okay, Doc J's world has just turned from a 'standard-run-of-the-mill' return to the academic environment to a return of chaotic and somewhat prodigal proportions. It seems that one of my colleagues was pretty badly injured over the holidays, and I've agreed to help him (and the Department) out by marking whatever lot of his papers remain; one of my other colleagues may take half of them, but none of us have heard from her on the subject yet, so it's beginning to look like I may be inheriting the whole ream of paperwork. This in itself is not too bad (extra marking is a pain the butt, yes, but a few extra dollars never hurts one's pocketbook), but this has been combined with a nasty misreading on my part. For some strange reason, I dyslexically misread the course syllabus, and instead of having two weeks to prepare that lecture I mentioned so long ago about Antony and Cleopatra, I now have a week; or, rather, six days, including what remains of today. And, of course, I have to finish the marking from my own class for Tuesday. So, needless to say, if this blog seems to flatline for the next few days, you'll know why. The lecture in itself won't be too hard to handle -- I stopped writing lectures years ago, opting for the improvisational format-- but even improvisors have to have a general sense of direction and focus, if only to ensure that they have the necessary objects ready at one's fingertips. Speaking of which, I was rereading Northrop Frye on A&C last night (from NF on Shakespeare), and am a little surprised how unimpressed I am with his discussion. Then again, chances are, were I to have a copy of my own lecture on Tuesday, I'd be unimpressed with that. Alors, I think my task now is just to keep the body alive, even if the brain died from trauma some time ago. *shakes head* Mon Dieu, je suis probablement un grand fou.

Something For Our Poets To Remember?


Etherealizing

A theory if you hold it hard enough
And long enough gets rated as a creed:
Such as that flesh is something we can slough
So that the mind can be entirely freed.
Then when arms and legs have atrophied,
And brain is all that's left of mortal stuff,
We can lie on the beach with the seaweed
And take our daily tide baths smooth and rough.
There once we lay as blobs of jellyfish
At evolution's opposite extreme.
But now as blobs of brain we'll lie and dream,
With only one vestigial creature wish:
Oh, may the tide be soon enough at high
To keep our abstract verse from being dry.

--- Robert Frost, from Steeple Bush (1947)

07 January 2004

Sports Update


      Talk about banned substances....

Yeah, It's The Heels...


      This blog will behave itself and say absolutely nothing about this.

TD Waterston


      Some of you may find this amusing. This blog wonders if they'll hire Jill Hennessy, resurrected from her nasty car-crash, should the economy go right down the sinkhole.

We Are The Campions


"There Is A Garden In Her Face"

There is a Garden in her face,
Where Roses and white Lillies grow;
   A heav'nly paradice is that place,
Wherein all pleasant fruits doe flow.
   There Cherries grow which one may buy
   Till Cherry ripe themselves doe cry.

   Those Cherries fayrely doe enclose
Of Orient Pearle a double row,
   Which when her lovely daughter showes,
They look like Rose-buds fill'd with snow.
   Yet them nor Peere, nor Prince can buy,
   Till Cherry ripe themselves doe cry.

   Her Eyes like Angels watch them still;
Her Browes like bended bowes doe stand,
   Threatning with piercing frownes to kill,
All that attempt with eye or hand
   Those sacred Chrries to come nigh,
   Till Cheery ripe themselves doe cry.

   --- Thomas Campion, 1616

Not too much I really want to say about this poem, save to say that a I love that simile, "like Rose-buds fill'd with snow," an image that seems somewhat consoling as frigin January settles in. Here's another one from Campion, a poet so seldom studied anymore:

"Now Winter Nights Enlarge"

Now winter nights enlarge
   The number of their houres,
And clouds their stormes discharge
   Upon the ayrie towres,
Let now the chimneys blaze
   And cups o'erflow with wine:
Let well-tun'd words amaze
   With harmonie divine.
Now yellow waxen lights
   Shall waite on hunny Love,
While youthfull Revels, Masks, and Courtly sights,
   Sleepes leaden spels remove.
This time doth well dispence
   With lovers long discourse;
Much speech hath some defence,
   Though beauty no remorse.
All doe not all things well;
   Some measures comely tread;
Some knotted Ridles tell;
   Some Poems smoothly read.
The Summer hath his joyes,
   And Winter his delights;
Though Love and all his pleasures are but toyes,
   They shorten tedious nights.

      Campion, also 1618

"Beauty no remorse." No kidding. ;-) Oh, it's so hard to find delights in these wintry times.

06 January 2004

Natch


      Rhododendrons. Persistence. Nothing more. L'erreur toujours deja.

      Please, no one, ask me to explain that. You either know or you don't.

05 January 2004

Let Reason Govern Thy Lament


      Oy vey, tomorrow commands my return to teaching; oh, Lord, why hast thou forsaken me? ;-) It's back to the long trips, the endless Tuesdays, yadda yadda yadda... Tomorrow, it's Titus Andronicus on the docket, which the kids will either love or loathe for its grotesque sensibilities. Blood and appendages, blood and appendages, and some good ole' fashioned Roman cuisine to whet the tastebuds. I should be interesting, though, when I return to see if mes enfants terribles recognize me. There's a kind of perverse pleasure to being able to change one's appearance rather drastically and send people for a loop, or at least for the "what the" second-takes I inevitably get when I shake things up. Age within youth, and youth within age. Tee hee.... Many of my acquaintances have said that I look twenty-two again, which I suspect is merely shock or exaggeration, but people may say whatever they wish to say.

      This, unfortunately, means that I have to spend most of today finishing up my marking and getting my shit back together after a hiatus roughly the same length as that of a TV series. It also means I should honker down and figure out specifically what I'm going to say in a few things coming up, including my pending lecture on Antony and Cleopatra. I now and again tease myself with thinking that I have a book in me on reinterpreting Shakespeare's secondary characters many of whom need to be carefully reunderstood, including Albany, Enobarbus, Marcus (fron Titus), Polonius, Michael Williams, Lennox, Jaques, Don Pedro, and others. Maybe one day. There's always so much to do. And yet what am I doing? Writing in this distracting blog when I should get all that marking done. Perhaps I should exit this entry with a dead march. I must let reason govern my lament. But I'd rather enjoy a last day of indolence. Ah, bugger all.

      (And yes, I know this must sound like a whinge. But dammit I'm allowed. Calgon, or Bushmills, take me away! ;-) ) Alas, to it. To all those of you getting back to the grind today, all I can say is this: *snicker snicker snicker* Monday, Monday...

Being Old And Full Of Days


      William Safire, he the conservative spitfire, has a mildly interesting piece in today's NYTimes on, of all things, Howard Dean and the Book of Job (the link here is to a paper in Germany, just to ensure easy access for everyone). As a teacher of literature, I often have to invoke stories from the Bible to make a point about this or that, and with the possible exception of the Genesis and Exodus myths (and I use the word myth not in the derogatory 'not true' sense that others have pinned to it over the years, but in the Greek-sense of mythos, meaning 'story'), the Book of Job is the one that has come up the most often. More provocatively, I've always felt that three books stand within the Bible very peculiarly, 'sticking out like sore thumbs' being probably the most appropriate cliche: those books, by the way (from my perspective), are Revelation, the Gospel of St. John, and the Book of Job.

      I don't really want to talk about Dean, whose invocation of the Book of Job strikes me as being about as appropriate as Pat Robertson calling on God to bring down pro-choice Supreme Court justices. But I do want to talk about the Book of Job for a bit, which many take to be a vindication of human suffering, and a parable to encourage human supplication before God, because, as God chides Job, (paraphrasing) where we when He created and tamed the behemoth (40:15), and where we when He shut up the sea with doors (38:8); have we seen the doors of the shadow of death (38:17) or have we drawn out the Leviathan with a hook (41:1)? And on and on. God's response to Job's suffering is very much like that of the father to a child, not answering the child's question's, but scolding it for the things it has not done and has not known, and basically minimizing Job and his suffering against the larger pattern of God's actions and designs. God never fully addresses the truth, that the tragedies that befell Job (the loss of his daughters, of his home, of his wealth) were the result of a bet -- a bet-- God made with the Adversary (Satan) on Job's ultimate fidelity to God. (Keep in mind that the Adversary in Job is not quite the same vision of Satan that most of us associate with Milton, or The Far Side, or even The Exorcist. He is more of an accepted, so to speak, devil's advocate within God's heaven.) But God's answer is essentially a rumbling of his bellyful, an answer of "shock and awe" rather than substance, a cowing of Job with natural and bestiary visions intended, apparently, to cause a wracking of Job's doubts with His power and wisdom. In other words, God's answer is something to the effect of, "How dare you question me? You don't know what I have to do here? You don't, and you can never, understand what I do and what I have done? So, how dare you challenge my wisdom? How dare you ask to understand what you cannot understand?"

      It's easy to see, from God's response to Job (as well as other parts of ta biblia) how Curiousity became known as a sin of pride and vanitas (of thinking oneself of the same level of God, of seeing one's own self before one's supplication before the wisdom of God). I think we all know what happens after God speaks, though. Job demures, and declares his devotion and faith toward God, for which God "blessed the latter end of Job more than his beginning" (42:12) and granting him seven sons and three daughters (42:13), the daughters (of course) being fairer than all of the other young women in the land (42:15). As if replacement children managed to brush away the losses of provious children, we should be logically asking, but logic is not something the Book of Job gives much of a damn about. Northrop Frye once posited that the Book of Job may well be an exercise in taking us as far as possible into the depths of tragedy and somehow finding a way to drag a happy ending out of it, even if that happy ending, especially to modern minds, is about as convincing as an episode of Reba. When the Book ends with words, "So Job died, being old and full of days" (42:17), most of us with modern sensibilities are left with a kind of jaw-dropping astonishment at the sudden, and perhaps flip, restorative gestures by which the myth is concluded. Is this just God as a kind of Baba-Yaga figure? Is this just a cautionary tale in not coming between the dragon and his wrath? Is this just an allegory about faith through suffering, or is there a degree of beratement and belittlement at work here, in which the Good Man (TM pending) acquiesces before all that he does not, and supposedly cannot, know?

      Modern readings of Job have tended to be very skeptical, or at least problematized, as much as I hate to use that word with all its PoMo associations. Safire mentions Virginia Woolf, who thought God didn't come out of the story looking very good, and he also mentions Nobelist Elie Wiesel who is disturbed by God's evasiveness. Then there's Frye, whose reading is difficult at best, Carl Jung's (see Answer to Job) whose attempt to understand the book is even longer than the book itself. And William Blake, well, William Blake, had to wrestle with Job as if he were the Archangel Michael. One can't help but wonder if the God of Job wouldn't dismiss all of the critiques and challenges to God's answer as exercises in hubris and pride and unnatural curiousity. It's interesting, too, how Job responds to God's answer:

THEN JOB answered the Lord, and said,
I know that thou canst do every thing, and that no thought can be withholden from thee.
Who is he that hideth counsel without knowledge? therefore have I uttered that I understood not; things too wonderful for me, which I knew not.
Hear, I beseech thee, and I will speak: I will demand of thee, and declare thou unto me.
I have heard of the by the hearing of the ear; but no mine eye seeth thee.
Wherefore I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes. (42:1-6)

Say what?!?!?!?! Notice that there are no declarations of love, and no declarations of the satisfaction of God's answer. Notice that these, in many ways, are the words of a scolded child, admitting that he doesn't understand the parent's ken. And notice, too, that something very interesting happens here: Job sees, or claims to see, God, something no one else in the Bible claims to do; Moses saw a burning bush, not God himself; and no other figure claims to see God, whether in fact or in his or her mind's eye. (This is not including the human figure of Jesus, but let's not open that can of worms: let us merely say that the 'traditional' God is only seen, supposdely, by Job. God, in other parts of the little books, manifests himself to humans only by sound.) Talk about shock and awe, and I can't help with my cynical self help but think of the Touched By An Angel trope of a light-show suddenly turning the tide of even the most curmudgeonly toward belief. Let there be light, indeed-- or perhaps darkness, for all we know. But this is the textbook example of obedience despite knowledge, of affirmation without knowledge; it is the lesson of accepting one's ignorance, with the resounding moral seeming to be "trust me." Pardon me, and perhaps this, once more, is my cynical mentality, but I get nervous when I'm told to lay my trust blindly.

      So why am I going through this riggamarole? Is there a point to all this, or am I just going over once more the fissures of the Book of Job? Well, to be honest, I can't say there's a specific point, but I can't help feel the same awkwardness permeating our culture at the moment, especially as highly-secretive sources keep telling us to do this and to watch that, but refusing to be more specific than that; there's the pervasive sense that we're being fed elusive answers rather than direct ones, the subtext to those 'answers' being an apparently flip but not necessarily condescending 'trust me,' because perhaps there are things we cannot understand quickly or readily. We have to wonder, however, if we're the object of obfuscations, however necessary or however spurious. And, to be honest, I am no Job: I have a very hard time accepting a lot of the current 'answers' given to matters of our everyday concern. Likely, were it the Book of Doctor J, after God's answers, I'd probably be "but, but, butting" God until he just smote me into silence or until he turned to the Adversary and said "Oh, I give up. He's hopeless." Perhaps this makes me guilty of pride and/or unnatural curiousity or whatever, at least by the earlier standards of such terms. I'm also pretty sure, though, that as lovely as my new daughters were and how glad I would to have sons and wealth and so forth, I'd be constantly reminded of the children I lost, even if I knew or believed they were in 'better' hands. Being old and full of days after such losses might finally prove merely more time to lament the lost, and to suffer in regret.

      I think my point, if there really is one, is that we're in a historical situation right now that is not that far removed from the Job situation, of supposed settlement despite the inherently unsettling nature of that settlement. We're asked to put our trust in the wisdom of others, sometimes with apparent benefit, even though many of us may legitimately question the ways and means of such supposed wisdom. We also have to wonder what true wisdom is. Is it the wisdom of knowing what we need not know, or is it the wisdom to question further and to pursue knowledge even into its darkest caverns? The Book of Job provides one answer, but it's also an answer many of us ('with enquiring minds' better not follow that ;-) ) find finally more disturbing than the situations which engendered our initial doubts and fears. Is this a failure of faith on my part, on the part of many of us now used to searching for knowledge? Perhaps. But many of us also know all too well that faith is often something for which others plead while they betray.

      Do we stand up to the obscurantism, or do we supplicate ourselves before a wisdom that we cannot be entirely told? Do we accept the condition of settlement, regardless of how unsettling that condition may be in its making? Do we abjure knowledge to a tenet of faith, especially if faith, like love, can be manipulated against us? And is there a 'happy' ending on the horizon, to which we ought surrender ourselves? And is this truly a happy ending, or just an ending we're supposed to accept as a happy one, tacked-on and self-justifying as it may seem?

      I can't say I have any answers to any of this. But here's where I come back to Howard Dean. Dean's invocation of comparing himself to Job by virtue of his questioning of authority seems to me reductive, and if Dean is indeed a man of thought and belief, he'd question further his own self-figuration, as indeed I'd hope the likes of William Safire would offer further thought. Perhaps we are not here to verify, or instruct ourselves, or inform curiousities, or carry report. But perhaps there must be more than praying where prayer has been valid. I don't know.

      All I do know is that the prospect of being old and full of days may either be our great curse or our great redemption. But must we come to abhor ourselves, after placating ourselves before the things we do not know? And must we lay our hands upon our mouths? If so, pardon me while I gather my doubts as the whirlwind rumbles its bellyful. (And, yes, as many of you well know, King Lear is never too far from my mind. The Zaniac recently discovered that he's reached the point that he sees Hamlet under his bed at night; I see King Lear, in all its Jobean might.)

04 January 2004

Further Quiz Insanity


I don't know how this happened, but...


Which Historical Lunatic Are You?
From the fecund loins of Rum and Monkey.


This result is a little more spurious: ;-)

I'm an apparently intelligent, liberal, not-too-generous, not-too-selfish, relatively well adjusted human being!
What are you?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey



I'm not sure what to say about this result, but I can't say I mind it at all. To life's abattoir!


Are you damned?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

You will die a warrior and be spirited away by warbling wenches to the Hall of the Slain. Meat and mead for ever more, well until Ragnarok, anyway, when you will do battle with giants, giantesses, dwarfs, elves and Nidhug, a dragon who likes to nibble trees. Odin is great!



Not at all sure about this, but there certainly is at least a (rye) grain of truth to it:


What Kind of Drunk Are You?



And if you've been doing these quizzes, you'll notice a certain obsession with the destruction of villages, which I've yet to do but would certainly endorse and gladly participate in the destruction of The Village People. But then there's this, to which I'd suggest no comments from the snickering peanut gallery: ;-)


Which Survivor of the Impending Nuclear Apocalypse Are You?
A Rum and Monkey joint.

Oh, yes, I am officially procrastinating from my marking again. To Valhalla!!!!!!!!!!!

Now This Should Be Interesting...


      I don't quite know how I stumbled upon this, but apparently Tom Hanks will star in a Cohn brothers remake of the classic 1955 Ealing comedy The Ladykillers. It should be interesting watching Hanks play an out-and-out caricature-villain, and, especially watching how he fills the shoes once occupied by the late Alec Guinness. For those of you who've not seen the original film, Guinness' Professor Marcus is a brilliant (and hilarious) piece of acting bravura, with Guinness channelling bits of Shakespeare's Richard III, theatre critic Kenneth Tynan, and horror-star Boris Karloff in such a way that, as Leonard Maltin once put it, "even his [Guinness'] teeth are funny." If you've not seen the film, do, and not just for Guinness: there are great bits by Katie Johnson as the indomitable and apparently harmless Mrs. Wilberforce that the gang tries to kill, Cecil Parker as the Major, and a very young Peter Sellers (whose comedic idol was Guinness, with whom he later appeared again in Neil Simon's Murder By Death) as the easily-cowed Mr. Robinson.

      I don't know how Hanks will do in this role, nor do I know quite what the Cohn brothers will do with this project, though they certainly have the necessary macabre tendencies to make such a project work, at least in theory. For Hanks, though, it'll be a real trick to see if he can successfully subvert his 'good guy' image in the same way that Guinness did. It looks, though, like the Cohn brothers are changing a fair bit, including the name of the Professor. One wonders if Hanks will retain the teeth. But I look forward to it, very much in fact. Hanks is probably one of the few that could actually do the part. But let's just hope the Cohn Brothers keep true to the spirit of the original film, and not try too hard to super-modernize it.

Can We Say "Desperate And Shameless Media Stunt," Boys And Girls?


      I knew you could.

      Addendum (several hours later): Oh, you knew this was coming... *rolls eyes* If only her career would come and go so quickly...

Brief Note On Comments On This Blog


      For reasons beyond the understanding of this blog, the source for the comment sections of this blog (enetation in England) is not only frequently down, but it very often doesn't report accurate numbers of comments. All I can suggest is this, that if you made a comment on anything on this blog, check the comments within a few days and there will probably be something there, but enetation may not report it when Blogger processes the script. I'm seriously considering going to an alternate source for commenting, but two things are making me hesitate: one, the desire not to lose all of the comments that have been gathered thus far; and two, the general pain in da butt of setting up new scripts and experimenting with new hosts. I'll decide on this sometime in the next wee bit, and if enetation keeps causing me problems, I'll likely opt for something new.

In Further Defiance of Valerie


      Anyone who studies T.S. Eliot knows that his second wife, Valerie Eliot, guards Eliot's copyrights ferociously, such that there is a vicious current of anticipation in Eliot studies known rather insidiously as the "Valerie Death Watch." (As much as I would like to be able to share Eliot's words with those not immediately in access of them, I'm not one to wait for the death of anyone, except perhaps Brian Mulroney. ;-) Just kidding, if you're reading this, Bri Bri.) But I wanted to offer this poem as a shattering of a lot of people's assumptions about TSE, a poem that shows Eliot with a rarely-abrasive sense of humourous vitriol.

The Triumph of Bullshit

Ladies, on whom my attentions have waited
If you consider my merits are small
Etiolated, alembicated,
Orotund, tasteless, fantastical,
Monotonous, crotchety, constipated,
Impotent galamatias
Affected, possibly imitated,
For Christ's sake stick it up your ass.

Ladies, who find my attentions ridiculous
Awkward insipid and horribly gauche
Pompous, pretentious, ineptly meticulous
Dull as the heart of an unbaked brioche
Floundering versicles feebly versiculous
Often attenuate, frequently crass
Attempts at emotions that turn out isiculous,
For Christ's sake stick it up your ass.

Ladies who think me unduely vociferous
Amiable cabotin making a noise
That people may cry out "this stuff is too stiff for us" ---
Ingenuous child with a box of new toys
Toy lions carnivorous, cannons fumiferous
Engines vaporous --- all this will pass;
Quite innocent --- 'he only wants to make shiver us."
For Christ's sake stick it up your ass.

And when thyself with silver foot shall pass
Among the Theories scattered on the grass
Take up my good intentions with the rest
And then for Christ's sake stick them up your ass.

--- T.S. Eliot, either 1910 or 1916, also from Inventions of the March Hare, ed. Christopher Ricks

      Keep in mind, my readers, that the word 'bullshit' may have been in colloquial parlance, but it was not a distinctly-recorded word, and the OED, as Ricks notes, identifies the first written or published usage was circa 1915, in a letter from Wyndham Lewis, possibly about this poem of Eliot's (or perhaps another, which makes the dating of this unpublished piece rather awkward). I don't know if the OED has since emended this or not.

      Such versifications are among the reasons that many feminists loathe Eliot so intensely, not to mention his treatment of women in The Waste Land, The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock (with the women essentially callous and empty figures, talking pretentiously and emptily about Michelangelo), and particularly of the crucified Celia Copplestone in The Cocktail Party. Such feminist critics tend to see Eliot venting his own personal frustrations with women in such pieces, assessments that seem to lean heavily on psychoanalytical pretensions. Call me an apologist if you will, but I'm more inclined to see Eliot's male characters as figures of social and sexual disconnection, a disconnection very typical to Modernism entire, and perhaps best emblematized in the central position given to the figure of Tiresias (who has "foresuffered all") in The Waste Land. There's a tone of self-mockery to this poem, but also a proper sense of defiance to the flimsy act of bald characterization, to the niggling process of "thising and thating" with which I think most of us are very familiar. (If not, sit in a bar and listen to either men or women talk about others in the bar, and listen how they, and perhaps you, say "oh so-and-so is too this or too that"). It's also a poem about deflating the idealizing tendencies of male-female interaction, a tradition that Eliot, like Pound, probably would have described as being too throughly ensconced in emotional slither.

      For me, there's a kind of refreshing quality in the cynical instruction to tell the ladies to 'stick it up their ass,' especially in a poem so carefully metered and rhymed. (The verse may sometimes seem blank by nature, but there's an alternation between short 8-9 syllable lines and 12-13 syllable lines, by which the shorter lines are curtailments of statement, and the longer lines extensions or erections of statement, thus setting up an exaggerated distinction between truncated and tumbling lines; the returns, then, so to speak, to standard pentameters are more exercises in verbal grounding.) The language ventures from high-language to low-language with clever abruptness, as if the language of sophistication is merely the language of excuse-making and self-importance, while the language of the vulgar is a means to cleave through the pretensions and dismissals, and to defeat them in their tracks. In that regard, the language of sophistication is stultifying, and the language of coarseness seems liberating in its defiance. All in all, I think this a better poem than most would, and it offers a rejoinder to the dominant conceptions of Eliot as the prissy American more English than the English.

Rackham Up, My Friend...


In response to my posting of Eliot's "The Love Song of St. Sebastian," RK mentioned Arthur Rackham (1867-1939), the English illustrator, primarily (but not exclusively) of children's books. It occurred to me that most people may not recognize the name, so I tussled around the net very briefly and gathered a few sample images for people to look at here. I'm rendering them in popup form here, mainly to keep this page as quick-loading as possible, especially for people, comme moi, who are relegated to the cruelty of dialup access.

Some Sample Images

Comus, after Milton         Cordelia from King Lear         Valkyrie

Bottom from A Midsummer Night's Dream         Training of English Children

Some Links

For a quick listing of other Rackham sites on the web, click here.

For those especially interested, check out these plates from Rackham's edition of Lewis Carroll's Alice In Wonderland, from where, I must confess, I recognize Rackham.

See also this short bio from Artmagick.com.

03 January 2004

A Shirt of Hair, And Not With The Bottoms Of His Trousers Rolled


You can tell I'm avoiding finishing my marking. Oy. I dug up this piece of juvenalia that I find rather difficult to assess. There's a clarity and a strength to it, but the clarity is probably too overt in some senses, and the strength is of a kind of sinewy strength rather than a more purely musculur strength. (Then again, I'm sinewy, so....) Anyway, I offer it here since otherwise most people will not stumble upon it.

The Love Song of St. Sebastian

I would come in a shirt of hair
I would come with a lamp in the night
And sit at the foot of your stair;
I would flog myself until I bled,
And after hour on hour of prayer
And torture and delight
Until my blood should ring the lamp
And glisten in the light;
I should arise your neophyte
And then put out the light
To follow where you lead,
To folllow where your feet are white
In the darkness toward your bed
And where your gown is white
And against your grown your braided hair.
Then you would take me in
Because I washideous in your sight
You would take me in without shame
Because I should be dead
And when the morning came
Between your breasts should lie my head.

I would come with a towel in my hand
And bend your head beneath my knees;
Your earls curl back in a certain way
Like no one's else in all the world.
When all the world shall melt in the sun,
Melt or freeze,
I shall remember how your ears were curled.
I should for a moment linger
And followe the curve with my finger
And your head beneath my knees---
I think that at last you would understand.
There would be nothing more to say.
You would love me because I should have strangled you
And because of my infamy;
And I should love you the more because I mangled you
And because you were no longer beautiful
To anyone but me.

--- T. S. Eliot (written circa 1914, originally sent in a letter to Conrad Aiken; republished in Inventions of the March Hare, ed. Christopher Ricks)


It's hard to tell which Saint Sebastian of which Eliot writes here (Eliot himself notes that there are three of them in his mind, and it's quite possible that Eliot has conflated the three in some way, centred largely around the image of the Descant From The Cross). Eliot thought this piece 'strained' and never chose to publish in his lifetime, but I can't help but think there's a kind of powerful, incantatory simplicity to it, though the poem's final five lines do seem to me very forced and uncontrolled. (And probably over-influenced by the Black Romantic writers like Andre Gide.) The odd thing for me, though, is that in the second stanza, I can almost hear Leonard Cohen singing those lines, which I could probably explain but which would certainly not be worth the explanatory words. Pensees, quelqu'un?

An All-Too-Likely Fate For Doctor J


      But hopefully I'll have my clothes on when it eventually happens. ;-)

Yet Another Year In Review


      This one from comedian Bob Robertson has a few good lines. Beware those harmful emissions!

Guerilla Decorating


      This blog is glad to see that at least someone else distrusts the tyrannical and corrective tendencies of the slew of self-repair books and TV shows. This blog wonders, too, about the political outrage that would emerge if there were suddenly to manifest a show called "Straight Eye For The Queer Guy," in which a bunch of slovenly bowlers teach Rupert Everett how to discoordinate (or would that be "dis-disco-ordinate"?) himself, and how to make the best possible use of Hawaiian shirts and plumber's crack.

On Second Chances, And Liverpudlian Wisdom


      Saw this and had to share it here, with the note that I agree entirely with Mr. Ustinov, that human laughter is the most civilized music in the world, save when it's coming from the mouths of berating and the cruel.

Embracing His Inner Matthew Arnold?


      Oh, ho ho ho ho, is it indeed possible? Is even Terry Eagleton beginning to succumb to the New Boredom and recognize the idiotic superciliousness of cultural theory? It certainly seems that way. Oh yes, it certainly does. Oh, I'm getting tingly all over... Is it possible that the tide is turning, ever so slowly? Count now the number of significant critics speaking out, with increasing force but in still low numbers (may of whom have since passed on), against the current mainstream of self-important cultural theorizing: Northrop Frye was a proponent of the charge two decades ago, and since then he's been followed, in different ways, by the likes of Harold Bloom, the late Hugh Kenner, Sir Frank Kermode, Frank Lentricchia, and now perhaps Terry Eagleton, who once stood like a bulwark against those tide-turners. To a degree, even people like Derrida are relocating themselves from their previous positionings (more often than not those positionings interpreted by others than by the critics-theorists themselves). And then there's the likes of Giyatri Spivak holding like anchors to the bottom of the ocean, and no doubt another 75% of the current academic hegemony that has too much to lose in recognizing that perhaps, like the famous emperor, they are walking naked in their new clothes. But there's something deeply encouraging about all this.

      I should add this, though, that I still find Eagleton's Marxism less than satisfying (and, on the topic of academics continuing to harbour extremely pro-Marxist ideology, see Robert Fulford's recent piece here), and many of his defences of his political stances strike me as profoundly ridiculous. But I think it telling that the revolt against governing contemporary theoreticism (sometimes felonious, sometimes merely of the level of the misdemeanour) is currently gaining support from increasingly disparate corners of the academic world. Is it possible that academics are slowly starting to activate their bull-shit detectors and realize how thoroughly ensconced their heads have been in the asses? One can hope. I'll still not say I'm aligned with Eagleton, but it seems for once there's actually common cause between us. And, in many ways, the true marvel here is the extent of (partial, anyway) recantation on his part. Colour me one totally uninterested in the politics of masturbation and Friends.

      One brief aside: I can't help but wonder about the irony of Eagleton's turning, because his primary concerns, with reconciling the metaphysical with the theoretical, with the political pulls of Marxism and moralism and so forth, if Eagleton is only now finally catching up with people like Graham Greene who were writing about such matters decades ago. Eagleton, by the way, devoted much time to the study of Greene, so one-- er, I-- can't help but feel a sense of "Duh, it's about time" in our bones.

      And, yes, I know RK and perhaps the Zaniac and Arby (and of course me) may be the only ones who really give a damn about any of this (at least among people dropping by this blog), but there we are. But I imagine in the next wee bit we'll have a lot of former champions of Eagleton suddenly dismissing him completely, as if he had suddenly changed religions on his academic deathbed. Oh, ho ho ho ho, I can already sense people's backs getting up. They're craning in disbelief. RK, at the very least, has a very good idea about the sorts of folk of whom I speak. Tee hee. Pardon me a moment of snickering glee.

Hanging Out With The Mayor


      So much for meeting with, ahem, club directors.

01 January 2004

Precious Questions: Tolkien Things Seriously


       With reports of the financial earnings of The Return Of The King coming in, and Tolkien-mania seeming to be slightly more fervent than Christian or Islamic fundamentalism, I find myself reflecting a fair bit on the films (though I've yet to see the third) and the books, and wondering why the trilogy is indeed so popular. Don't get me wrong: I'm not a pooh-pooher of the trilogies, but nor am I rabid fanatic foaming at the mouth for all things Tolkien. There are some things that spring to mind immediately-- the vastness of the scope, the likeability of key characters, the general themes of honour, bravery, taking a stand, and so forth; but it also bears stating that despite his gifts for adapting bits and pieces from medieval and ancient traditions, Tolkien is by no means a great writer, and much of Tolkien's prose is as stilted and awkward (and even dull) as any adolescent's. One has to credit Peter Jackson in many ways, but especially for making sure that just about every person in the Western world now has images in their heads of the primary characters of the trilogy; before, only the most ardent Tolkienites had an image of Frodo, or Sam, or Gandalf, or Gollum. Jackson's imagery is more or less indelible, and in that degree, Jackson as a director is reminiscent of David Lean, whose constructions of T.E. Lawrence or Colonel Nicholson or Lara Zhivago are forever fixed into the brains of those who saw the respective films. So, a tip of the hat to Jackson in that regard, even if his fascination is largely with CGI effects seems a little over the top.

       But it's also worthwhile to inventory some of the logical fissures of the trilogies, some of which are of Tolkien's making but which impose themselves upon Jackson, or which Jackson creates himself. (I'll not really bother to distinguish between them here, merely for the sake of saving myself the verbiage.) Why, one has to wonder, is the original fellowship set out by horse and by foot, when it's demonstrated early on that Gandalf can summon flying creatures which would surely have shortened the travels and travails of our intrepid heroes? Natch, don't think about that; this is just a device so we can in fact have a long series of character and plot engagements. Why don't the defending forces at Helm's Deep set fire to their arrows before volleying them against the attackers? Nah, just plain arrows. That way it's only one dead body and not a mass of confusion in the ranks of the Uruk-hai. Why doesn't Theoden defend the aqueduct that is so obviously the weak link of the Helm's Deep fortification? Nah, we'll just forget about that so we can have some straight up blow-things-up action. Why is it that no one in middle earth has learned the military art of outflanking and dispersing one's forces? Nay, let us not complicate things with sensibility. Why is it that, as the trilogies progress, the ring-wraiths seem less and less dogged in their pursuit of the ring? Nah, we need *new* villains to come along, new wonders to scare the bejeezus out the Hobbitses. Why does Sam think Boromir was killed because he tried to take the ring from Frodo, when, in fact, he was killed fending off orcs in search of the hobbits? And, more interestingly, how does Sam even know Boromir dead when he and Frodo had separated himself from the rest of the fellowship before Boromir fell? Sorry, Samwise, in the words of Faith from Buffy, "what are you, the narrator?"

       The questions proliferate like bunnies (not ordinary bunnies, but killer bunnies!).

Why, if Sauron knows that there is a group of people out to destroy the ring and are moving towards Mordor, why does our Big Bad not bother to post prodigious protection at the entrance of Mount Doom?

Why does Saruman, in poker-terms, go "all-in" with the invasion of Rohan so that Isengard is left relatively unprotected against the charge of the Ents?

Why doesn't Frodo keep the ring in some sort of casing (lead or some other metal) that might limit the ring's effects on him?

If Gandalf can talk to moths and other creatures great and small (remember how he escaped from Isengard), why the hell doesn't he post some bird or insect to follow Sam and Frodo so the rest can keep some sort of tabs on the lonely travellers?

Why is it that some characters can seem to move about the terrain of middle earth as if it were a neighbourhood block and others seem to move as if they were crawling from one end of the Sahara to another?

Why couldn't the elf Legolas translate the Elvish riddle at the caves of Moria gate, let alone figure out the oh-so-obvious answer to it?

Why is it that, in true Roddenberryesque fashion, the major characters all emerge with their lives, while the minor characters bear the brunt of all the violence in middle earth?

Why is it that Saruman could detect Gandalf's thoughts prior to the entry to Moria, but cannot detect that the old grey wizard ain't what he used to be when he's elevated to "White"?

Why don't Sauron or Saruman believe in assassins, especially to take down the hobbits or Gandalf or Aragorn?

How did Aragorn know to meet the hobbits at the tavern, unless Gandalf sent him prior to meeting with Saruman, in which case, did Gandalf suspect there might be something up with Saruman, which neither the book nor the film suggests? So how did he know to be there?

Why, at Helm's Deep, don't any of the keep's defenders push back the ladders that are raised against the wall, or why don't they take their swords and axes to the ropes and ladders?

And why, oh why does Elrond, who was there when Sauron was initially defeated and when Isildur refused to destroy the ring when he had the chance, do absolutely eff-ewe-see-cay-all this time around? Does he feel no responsibility, no need to take action himself? Stand and deliver, you elvish bugger you.


My head hurts even mentally fumbling through the morass.

       On the question of the 'nature' of getting around middle earth, check out this map and think for yourself how carelessly Tolkien the issue, arbitraily moving characters from here to there like knights jumping about a chessboard. If you're a real geek, check out the other maps available at the source site.

       The questions, and the gaps in logic, could go on ad nauseum. Sure, I'm fully aware that we're not meant to ask these sorts of questions, and we're supposed to allow ourselves to surrender to the grand scope of the tale. And, for the most part, I do. But such questions linger, like persistent itches. I am also left wondering why such questions go unanswered, and they suggest a kind sloppiness in the creationary process. I realize that Tolkien and Jackson are both going after an epic sweep, which they achieve, but it should go to emphasize the faultiness of their projects, as admirable as they may be in certain regards. I guess that's why the films and the books appeal more to adolescent impusles rather than mature ones (keeping in mind, of course, that as old as any of us get, we likely still retain some adolescent impulses). These questions also suggest reasons why the Rings trilogy is not quite in the same league as The Odyssey, The Iliad, or Paradise Lost, beyond even the possible discrepancies of opinion on prose stylings.

       By the way, there's a very good review of Return of the King in The New Yorker. Very witty. And is it just me, or does Peter Jackson seem to have some sort of cinematic fascination with Orlando Bloom? He seems to film Legolas with the same sort of idealizing awe that Hitchcock used to film Grace Kelly. But, then again, Legolas does look rather a bit like the late Princess Grace, except he may be prettier. ;-)

       Ponder these questions, my questions, my pressshusss questions. This Tolkiens's tricksy. Master betrays us with his plotses. The Jackson knowses this, and he makeses moneys from ussss, from the plotses, the poresome plotses. Oh, questions... my precious questions... We must, we mustes have them! [Doctor Smeagol/Gollum is then thrown head-first into the fiery lava of Mount Doom]