In other news from the Charlie-Sheen-Help-Me-My-Career-Is-Utterly-And-Completely-In-The-Shitter File comes word that Jennifer Love-My-Boobies-Please-They-Were-Jessica-Simpsony-Long-Before-Hers-Were Hewitt will be starring in a new project. It will costar the redoubtably pathetic Joey I-Once-Was-A-Precocious-Kid-That-Said-Something-Funny-On-Johnny-Carson-But-Now-I'm-Just-An-Impossibly-Annoying, Fabio-Maned-Primate-Grasping-For-Any-Last-Shreds-Of-Fame Lawrence. Gawd help us all. (And let our cries come unto Thee.)
UPDATE: Bonnie Bedelia did ask the right question all those years ago: "John, Why Does This Stuff Keep Happening To Us?"
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