22 May 2007

Because Symbolism's For Sissies

In case you missed it, the season finale of 24 ended-- I jest thee not-- with Jack Bauer, gun in hand, gazing despondently over a cliff. Fox Television: as ever, nothing if not subtle.


FOLLOWUP: On season 7 of 24: The birth of Baby Chloe. Twenty-three hours and change of Chloe in labour, trying to form a personal perimeter, while Jack bitch-slaps the variously incompetent OB-GYNs with dialogue that includes:
  • "We can't wait for her to dilate! There ISN'T TIME!!!"
  • "Put the epidural DOWN! Don't make me shoot you!!!" and
  • "Dammit, we have a BREACH. Repeat: We. Have. A. Breach!!!"
With special guest midwife, former First Lady Floppin' Funbags Logan, who will suffer a highly dramatic breakdown and stab a candy-striper in the chest with a speculum. Not possible, you say? Just you wait!

And of course, all your favourite villains and former presidents will remain conspicuously undead, smoking cigars ominously in the hospital's underground parking lot, until the season's Big Villain is finally revealed:

Jeremy Irons

Or, rather Villains. Will Jack be able to stop them? How many ill-fated morgue attendants will Nadia get involved with? Is there a mole in the over-occupied thigh-trauma ward? Will Fred Thompson survive his term as president? Will the baby have an innie or an outie?!?!?!

If you thought fathers and sons were dysfunctional--- You. Ain't. Seen. Nuthin'. Yet!!!!!

Season 7 of 24: Giving new meaning to "mobile technology." (But obviously not Virgin.)

Ba-bum, ba-bum, ba-bum, ba-bum....

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