13 August 2005

"I'd Like To Test That Theory."

      For those of you that don't know that line, it's from the penultimate episode of Season Six of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.   Mad Willow has just dispensed with all of the major characters, and utters one of those maniacal statements given to SuperVillains on the verge of victory, something to the effect of "now nothing can stop me."   Insert blazing energy-ball that knocks Evil Willow across the room, and there we see the supposedly-departed (and uncredited) Anthony Stewart Head, as Buffy's onetime mentor Giles, a wry one-man cavalry.   He has one line, and the episode ends: "I'd like to test that theory," he ripostes, as all those of us that had followed the series until that point cocked our arms and cheered.   See, he returns, as Mr Eliot would say, and he's brought a big ole can of whoop-ass with him.   The lesson?   Be careful what you say; fate has a nasty way of proving you very, very wrong.

      Why mention this now?, you're probably asking.   Well, it seems Rob Schneider (to describe him as Evil would be redundant) made the mistake of having one of those stupid SuperVillain moments.   And Roger Ebert has come out to test that theory, complete with a big ole can of critical whoop-ass.   It's better than Lloyd Bentsen's smackdown of Dan Quayle all those years ago, with that famous "I knew Jack Kennedy, Jack Kennedy was a friend of mine, Mister Senator, you're no Jack Kennedy" retort.  

      Needless to say, I don't think Schneider will be makin' copies of this review.     

      (And a word to Mr. Schneider: it may be time to reflect on your career when a critic in one sentence proves he's funnier than you have ever been.   And a question, too? What's it like to have your words shoved down your throat like Robert Morley's poodles?   From my own perspective, I'd just like to echo the once-funny Family Guy: Freakin' sweet....)

No comments:

Blog Archive