Once More Unto The Britches (NOTE: CONSTANTLY CHANGING)

After chatting with the Zaniac yesterday, I decided I'd repost Classics, Porn Style (see below) and invite people to make a few of their own offerings. Get your dirty little minds out, people....

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This has been around for a while, but here's a list of classic-based porn titles.... As I Lay Diane The Ass Menagerie As You Lick It Beth Comes for the Archbishop The Bugger's Opera Captain Fellatio Hornblower A Christmas in Carol Cock Without Hands David Cop A Feel The Devil and Daniel Webster in Miss Jones Eat Me in St. Louis The Enema of the People Five Little Peckers and How They Grew Four Saints in Three Unnatural Acts The Four Whoresmen of the Apocalypse French the Lieutenant's Woman! A Handful of Bust Hedda Gobbler Her Groin Was My Valley He Stoops to Honk Her Inside Daisy Miller Ivan's Ho' Lady Windemere's Fanny Lord Jism The Lust of the Mohicans Madame Ovary Mansfield Pork The Man Who Came on Dinner A Member at the Wedding Moaning Becomes Electra Moby-Dyke The Naked in the Dead Of Human Bondage and Discipline One Day in the Wife of Ivan Denisovich The Penile Colony Penis and Adonis The Pit and the Pudendum Portrait of the Artist as a Hung Man Pubic Enemy The Satanic Nurses The Shape of Things That Come The Schlong of Roland A Tale of Two Clitties Tales of a Wayside In and Out Tess Does the D'Urbervilles The Three Muffketeers Twat Makes Sammy Run Uncle Ream Us Wetness For The Prosecution The Wife of Bath's Tail

and a few more from Doctor J: The Layer of Casterbridge The Old Man And The Semen Tight Ass Andronicus Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Get Head The Pound And The Fury Quim and Punishment The Apprenticeship of Duddy's Crevice The Juice of Malta The Iceman Cummeth Flossed Horizon The Golden Hole The Burn Of The Screw A Cunt Tickle For Liebowitz The Waist Gland Gargantua and Panty Drool Fifth Jizzness Spankenstein Fear Of Clothing In Las Vegas The Bitch Liker's Guide To The Galaxy Corey's Old Anus King Leer Pair of Thighs Lost Fair and Hot #451 What Maisie Blew Bride's Head Revisited The Crying of Lot 69 The Scat In The Hat Every Man And His Hummer The Ivory Shower Snatch 22 Thus Sprayed Zarathrustra The Vision of Piers Plowing Men The Sphincter of Dorian Gray The Legend of Sleazy Swallow and the inevitable Load Of The Flies

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And yet a few more from the perennially perverted mind of the Not-So Good Doctor:

A Midsummer Night's Wet Dream
U Lick These (c.f. James Joyce)
Astro Fillin' Stella
The Bum Waiter (a la Pinter)
and Doctor, Fist Us!

(and no, I won't be appearing in the film version of the last.)

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A few more additions:

Barney's Virgin
Pleasure for Pleasure
Julius, Seize Her!
Finnegans Whack
Donkey Hottie
Diving Into The Crack
Cry The Beloved Cunt

and, in a nod to criticism:

The Educated Vagination

(with apologies to Mordecai Richler, Shakespeare, Joyce, Cervantes, Adrienne Rich, Alan Paton and Northrop Frye)

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Yet more:

Jizzery
The Rape of Lou's Crease
Clitoris and Cressida
Interuterine With A Vampire
The Return of the Kink
Everything That Rises Must Emerge
End Games
They Shoot Like Horses, Don't They?
A Buddy In Scarlet
The Wood Soldier
Daisy-Chain Miller
Mutiny On The Booty
The Unbearable Lightness of Breeding
Sense and Sensuality
Rump Hole Of The Bailey
Cleaves Of Ass ('Cum, said my soul....')

and

(picture it) A Cock Worked Orange (ouch!)

(with further apologies to Stephen King, Shakespeare again, Tolkien, Anne Rice, Flannery O'Connor, Samuel Beckett, Horace McCoy, Conan Doyle, Ford Madox Ford, Henry James, Nordhoff and Hall, Milan Kundera, Jane Austen, John Mortimer, Walt Whitman and Anthony Burgess.)

And yes, this may be a silly amusement, but 'the play's the thing.' :-)