16 July 2006

Absolutely Tintinnabulous!

    The 2006 winners for the Bulwer-Lytton contest (for the worst opening sentences of unwritten novels) are in, and some of the honorees are hoots indeed.  This blog's favourite entry is this one:
"I know what you're thinking, punk," hissed Wordy Harry to his new editor, "you're thinking, 'Did he use six superfluous adjectives or only five?' - and to tell the truth, I forgot myself in all this excitement; but being as this is English, the most powerful language in the world, whose subtle nuances will blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' - well do you, punk?"

It's even funnier if you imagine it being read by Ryan Stiles doing his Carol Channing impression on Whose Line Is It, Anyway?  (from the episode with Robin Williams, which you can see in its miniaturized entirety here). 

No comments: