If it weren't for those meddling kids

Tonight, I went to see Disturbia. Technically it was my choice, but I was only given a choice between it and Blades of Glory so my expectations were pretty low. It’s really not that bad, a bad Hitchcock rip-off maybe, but the suspense is so far from the quality of Rear Window that the only connection between the two is that the plucky hero is stuck in his house with binoculars (and a whole assortment of stalker-recommended equipment). All things considered, it was probably best that the filmmakers decided to just run with the premise in a b-movie way instead of trying to remake the original –it would’ve been disastrous particularly since the 'Lisa' character is noooooo Grace Kelly. Instead it was just a smart-alecky, mildly amusing and voyeuristic bit of fluff for the tween crowd (I kept wondering: ‘what the hell am I doing here?’ Oh yeah, Will Ferrell in lycra pantsuits and relentless boner jokes…)

Here’s the scary part about it -I cannot remember the last time I watched a movie in what felt like, a high-school cafeteria with the lights out (Maybe Billy Madison? Long, long time ago that’s for sure). There was stuff being thrown around (mostly popcorn but I think napkin spit balls are making a comeback), kids yelled out at the screen, made cat calls, threatened someone 2 rows over to ‘turn off your f#%king phone!’ they screamed unnecessarily at all the predictable jumpy parts and then- they clapped (clapped, for godssakes as if we were sitting at a Cannes screening).

Deeply disturbia.