Dear Lord, I think I'm having a heart palpitation: The Onion actually has a moderately amusing piece this week! Oh my. I'm simply a-flutter! Best bit: "After ejaculation, however, he introduced the topic of John Kerry's election platform."
(BTW, note the image on the first page: is it just me ot does that poor young woman seem to be about a week-and-a-half away from being able to sweep the floor when she walks? I've seen drive-in screens that were shorter....)
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