Please, Please, Please: Don't Say It's Hazel McCallion...

      Whew.

      Does this blog need to remind people? Be careful what you photograph.

Another Reason Why Zelda and I Should Have Drinks Tonight

      Ta-da. Now this blog knows how it feels when those people on Fear Factor swallow animal recta.

Roaming Distance

      Yet another good reason for this blog to avoid cell phones. Funniest bit: he's a welder. ;-)

The Simple Life

      But will you do a sex video to be posted on the internet? Oh, perhaps you might... *gulp* This blog certainly did not mean to offend...

      See also this. Let's hope we'll not always have Paris.

Browsing At Christmas

      Patch? Natch. Thank you again, beloved Microsoft. Again, rhymes with 'hawk succours.'

It's In Our Nature

      Duh.

      It's also this instinct from which we derive the phrase "against his better judgment," as this blog knows all too well. Can we say Humbert Humbert everyone?

RESIGN RESIGN RESIGN

      If Dubya isn't already looking a fair bit like Coriolanus (although this blog can't see Barbara as Volumnia), this article should suggest the extent to which things are going very wrong indeed in Iraq.

What Rough Beasts

      There's an interesting article in The Atlantic Monthly on the Bush administration's propensity for international bullying, something all too evident with today's announcement on contracts in Iraq. Also from The Atlantic, an article by Christopher Cahill on another pseudo-fascist, W. B. Yeats.

Fair and Balanced

      Looking for a frank, insightful analysis on the American economic situation? Here it is.

'Do They Call Child Services?'

      Further proof some doctors are deeply traumatized... This blog's favourite bit: "Monkeys are a marginalized portion of our society." Oh, reading this, now my head hurts.

Time For A Few Tittering Giggles...

      Now that's a headline.

      This had to be included here, if only for the absurdity. You've got to love his motto.

And All Through The House

This from Arby. Ho ho ho. Doh!

What Are You Afraid Of?

In case you've ever wondered what phobias you possess, here's a list that proves there's probably a word for just about everything. This blog has to admit that pentheraphobia is, indeed, a very real thing. And Doctor J is proud of his gamophobia.

13, number- Triskadekaphobia

8, number- Octophobia

Airborne noxious substances- Aerophobia

Airsickness- Aeronausiphobia

Alcohol- Methyphobia or Potophobia (Definitely not a fear of Dr J's.)

Alone, being- Autophobia or Monophobia

Alone, being or solitude- Isolophobia

Amnesia- Amnesiphobia (This blog bets you'll forget this one.)

Animals- Zoophobia

Animals, skins of or fur- Doraphobia

Animals, wild- Agrizoophobia

Ants- Myrmecophobia

Anything new- Neophobia (A particular fear of television producers.)

Asymmetrical things- Asymmetriphobia

Atomic Explosions- Atomosophobia

Automobile, being in a moving- Ochophobia

Automobiles- Motorphobia

Bald people- Peladophobia (Poor Colin Mochrie!)

Bald, becoming- Phalacrophobia

Bathing- Ablutophobia

Beards- Pogonophobia (Boo!)

Beautiful women- Caligynephobia (We're all afraid of beautiful women because we all know they're insane. As Chief Wiggum asks, 'why are the beautiful ones always crazy?')

Books- Bibliophobia (Hello my students.)

Buried alive, being or cemeteries- Taphephobia or Taphophobia

Cats- Aclurophobia, Ailurophobia, Elurophobia, Felinophobia, Galeophobia, or Gatophobia

Chickens- Alektorophobia

Clowns- Coulrophobia

Constipation- Coprastasophobia (Would this be a binding fear?)

Contamination, dirt or infection- Molysmophobia or Molysomophobia

Contamination with dirt or germs- Misophobia or Mysophobia

Cooking- Mageirocophobia (Sometimes called laziness.)

Corpses- Necrophobia ('Stiff with fear...')

Crowded public places like markets- Agoraphobia

Crowds or mobs- Enochlophobia, Demophobia or Ochlophobia

Crucifix, the or crosses- Staurophobia (Especially prominent at Easter.)

Dark or night- Nyctophobia

Dark place, being in- Lygophobia

Darkness- Achluophobia or Myctophobia, or Scotophobia

Dawn or daylight- Eosophobia

Daylight or sunshine- Phengophobia

Death or dying- Thanatophobia

Death or dead things- Necrophobia

Decaying matter- Seplophobia

Decisions: making decisions- Decidophobia (Ahem.)

Erect penis- Medorthophobia (Ahem, again.)

Erection, losing an- Medomalacuphobia (Viagraphobia?)

Friday the 13th- Paraskavedekatriaphobia

Genitals, particularly female- Kolpophobia (Gynephobia? Vaginaphobia?)

Genitalia, female- Eurotophobia

Insects- Acarophobia or Entomophobia or Insectophobia

Insects that eat wood- Isopterophobia (See medomalacuphobia above.)

Insects that cause itching- Acarophobia

Itching- Acarophobia

Kissing- Philemaphobia or Philematophobia

Knees- Genuphobia

Knowledge- Gnosiophobia or Epistemophobia (Ahem, mes enfants.)

Laughter- Geliophobia

Lawsuits- Liticaphobia (This is just common sense.)

Learning- Sophophobia

Left-handed; objects at the left side of the body- Sinistrophobia

Marriage- Gamophobia (This, too, is just common sense. Also known as 'eternalcondemnatiophobia').

Men- Androphobia or Arrhenphobia or Hominophobia

Menstruation- Menophobia (Ahem, yet again.)

Mice- Musophobia, Murophobia or Suriphobia

Mother-in-law- Pentheraphobia (Also known as manipulamaternaphobia.)

Night or dark- Nyctophobia

Night- Noctiphobia

Opinions, expressing- Doxophobia (Also known as politiphobia.)

Otters- Lutraphobia (How Canadian.)

Phobias- Phobophobia (But of course...Duh.)

Poetry- Metrophobia (A common fear among academics. The result is a propensity toward elaborate theorizing.)

Puppets- Pupaphobia

Sin- Hamartophobia

Snakes- Ophidiophobia or Snakephobia

Snow- Chionophobia

Stared at, being- Ophthalmophobia (What are you looking at?)

Thinking- Phronemophobia (Huh?)

Thunder- Ceraunophobia

Thunder and lightning- Astraphobia, Astrapophobia, Brontophobia or Keraunophobia

Tickled by feathers or feathers- Pteronophobia

Ugliness- Cacophobia (*cough, cough*)

Undressing in front of someone- Dishabillophobia

Urine or urinating- Urophobia

Waits, long- Macrophobia (Growlaphobia: fear of Tom Waits.)

Witches and Witchcraft- Wiccaphobia

Words, long- Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia or Sesquipedalophobia (Figures, eh?)

Now can you talk about your betes noires with authority! :-)

Not Tonight, Honey...

      Life as a beekeeper must be hard.

But Who Will Hold Their Manhoods Cheap?

      Shakespeare would be proud. May it gentle their condition.

Joe Who?

      Does anyone remember the name Joe Clark? No, I'm not talking about the baseball-bat toting principal immortalized some years ago by Morgan Freeman in the film Lean On Me. I'm talking about the former Canadian Prime Minister, the man who on several occasions was 'the go-to' man: when the Conservatives found themselves decapitated, he kept the body alive; when Mulroney was having international troubles, he brought in Clark as foreign minister. He's basically been the steadying hand for the political right in Canada. And now, with the merging of the PCs with the Alliance, now Clark is a man without a party. All of his warnings-- and those of some of the elder 'Red' Tories, including Flora McDonald-- have gone unheeded. Joe, for all his faults, was one of the few Tories who still retained an ounce or two of credibility. There's something ingracious about all this, and this blog has a funny feeling the new 'Conservatives' will soon realize they've given the Liberals a gift: a party of discordant voices to which even a former leader will not be a party. This blog suspects the problems with this merger haven't yet manifest themselves. This blog also wonders: if Clark had brought a baseball bat, maybe a few more delegates would have thought twice about the merger.

      It's a peculiar phenomenon. Most parts of Canada now find themselves in some kind of political shift-- the merger of the Tories and the Alliance, the pending resignation of Jean Chretien and the beginning of the Paul Martin era, provincial disincumbencies-- but in these supposed 'rebirths,' the interesting thing has been the shabby treatment of some well respected figures. Joe Clark has been disregarded by his own party. Dalton McGuinty and his gaggle of Liberals are doing everything they can to minimize the NDP and Howard Hampton (who, although most would never vote for them, most also acknowledged that they're the natural critics, and some say conscience, of government). Paul Martin, thugs in tow, is in the process of organizing a governmental purge of almost Maoist proportions, such that even good (and popular) ministers like John Manley are going while the getting's good. There's sacrificiality in the air. It also suggests, at least to this blog, that there will eventually be repercussions to be felt later. Take a big whiff. The change you smell right now is also the change we'll feel in five or six years.

We Real Cool

      (Does anyone remember that poem? Meh, probably not...) Anyway, it looks as if Be Cool, the sequel to Get Shorty, is in the works, with Travolta pairing off with Uma Thurman (what happened to Rene Russo?). It also appears that a certain wrestler will be testing himself... ^~~Solid, solid as a rock...^~~

Wennnnnh!

      This blog would describe Dalton McGuinty as a twat, except for one thing: this blog likes twats.

      We in Canada are pretty much used to one-party rule, but it seems even the most cynical of us are stunned by the anti-democratic actions of the supposedly fervently democratic Ontario Liberals. Another Dalton McGuinty pretension? Zut, alors...

We Love To Fly, And It Shows

      Necessity IS the mother of invention. It just goes to show: the sky's the limit.

We're Sorry....

      This blog meant to post this some time ago, but never got around to it: Colin Mochrie's very funny Apology to Americans. I'm sure most of you have seen this before, but...

      Check out too, from the same site, this. Any interational readers may get a little confused. ;-)